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How Often Do You Have Sex?

Our survey results are in. Here's what you told us about desire at midlife.

Our Survey Results: How Often Do You Have Sex?

This is a question you may not even broach with your friends: How often do you do it? Well, since NextTribe makes a thing of being “bold,” we went ahead and asked it and other details about your life in the bedroom.

The two stories that prompted this survey were about something called “desire discrepancy.” One writer wanted more sex than her husband, the other wanted less. According to survey respondents (the large majority of whom are in relationships that have lasted more than 20 years), there is indeed such a discrepancy.

Here’s The Count:

More than 69 percent of those who answered wanted sex once a week or less (27 percent said once a week; 11 percent said once a year or never). However, 47 percent said their partners wanted it several times a week or more. Menopause was often cited as the culprit for low libido. “Age, six children, stress, depression, anxiety all created a shit storm,” reported one respondent.

“Age, six children, stress, depression, anxiety all created a shit storm,” one woman reported.

But we don’t want to give the impression that women are the only ones who lose interest in sex. Thirty percent of respondents said their sexual desire was the same or higher than when they met their partner, and 59 percent said their partner’s libido was somewhat or drastically lower than when they got together.

“He shows absolutely no interest and refuses to talk about it,” one woman lamented. “I keep trying, but I didn’t think men lost interest. So I’m kind of perplexed by the whole thing.”

However, some women reported finding peace and a satisfying rhythm. “We’re just settling into a lovely routine of [long] marriage. The desire and closeness are still there,” one woman reports. “Even though we have sex a little less, the act is often more memorable.”

By Jeannie Ralston


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