This may be the first social media trend of 2019. Have you taken it yet—the “How Hard Did Aging Hit You?” challenge?
Since yesterday, all across my Facebook feed are posts with split-screens showing then versus now shots. The rules of the “game,” if you will, are to upload your first-ever profile pic from your social media account and then your most recent profile pic nestled next to it.
Some of the posts are typical thens and nows, but some, I have to say, are really stunning. A lot—and I mean a lot—of the posts that I have been perusing show friends and acquaintances who look better, way better than the “before” or decade-old shot.
Having Fun … Looking Good

The author’s challenge submission! Kim’s only getting better with age.
Others are hilarious commentaries on the concept: There’s the quite extreme one of a sperm as then and skeleton as now. Then there are comments from those wondering if whoever thought up this game was “demented or a plastic surgeon looking for work.” (That remark came from a friend who looks fantastic in both her then and now shots, by the way.)
A lot of the posts show friends and acquaintances who look better, way better than the ‘before.’
Some wonder whether this stunt is a way for the tech giants to boost their facial recognition data banks, possibly with a dark conspiratorial principle at work behind the whole thing. Regardless, the trend is spreading to Twitter and Instagram … and it’s expanding from humans to include four-legged furry friends.
Honestly, it got me thinking about how far any of us come in a decade’s time. I’ve gone from a total hot mess who was at least 75 pounds overweight, nearly killing myself with drink and drugs, incapable of clarity of mind and soul, to a sober, healthy yoga instructor hotly pursuing my many other passions in life. I’m not perfect, but the HHDAHY challenge shows a person’s 10 years of progress. And that’s not a bad thing.
So, me? I’m gonna go with this year’s first social challenge, post my silly then and mature now profile pictures and hope that all my comments speak to how I’m aging boldly … or not at all.
Merrill says
I got some really awesome and positive responses! Most said that I looked younger in my after photos! I felt strongly that I really hadn’t aged if at all. I still look the same! It was a fun challenge and so many of my friends male and female shared their photos!
Mary Dando says
This is an exercise in sheer elitism and hubris. What if the past 10 or 20 years have been filled with sickness, loss, depression and you don’t have a happy family picture to share. Then it’s just shaming. And while the author looks a lot healthier in her after photo, her younger self has a light in her eyes that now seems diminished.
Kim Cihlar says
Well, I hear you, Mary, and my past 10-20 years actually were filled with sickness and depression. That was my whole point I was trying to make in the story, of the progression that a decade can show us that we’ve made. I was battling alcoholism and drug addiction that decade before, was unhealthily overweight with medical conditions including rosacea so bad that I often wouldn’t leave the house for days because of the skin I couldn’t hide. I am hoping none of this serves as any kind of shaming to anyone else for anything. This is my unique story. I thank you for the compliment, but while that light in my eyes back then may have looked bright and happy, trust me, it was alcohol and drug-fueled and did not come from a happy place. My light today is much greater than it ever was. And for that, I am incredibly grateful.
Sheila says
A former colleague who battled a deadly form of leukemia 10 years ago posted photos from that time showing her with a bald head, hollowed eyes, darkened skin (from treatment) and a frail body. She’s now robust, cancer-free and more gorgeous than ever. She’s also on a book tour detailing her journey, and the word “joy” is in her book’s title. Rather than seeing it as elitism or an act of hubris, I see it as an illustration of a remarkable triumph.Like Kim’s.
Sheila says
I posted my #HHDAHY photos after a little arm-twisting from a dear friend (“c’mon, it’s fun!”), and it was followed by an immediate flood of compliments. I deleted it after a few hours because it felt like I was fishing for compliments. It also reminded me that just as only successful people show up at class reunions, most people playing this post challenge–and they seem to be primarily women–KNOW they are holding up well.
The funniest comment I saw came from a white man who urged us Black women to Stop. Just. Stop posting our photos. It is clear that photographically the aging process can be very kind to us.
Maria Whitsett says
I posted photos that didn’t quite follow the rules of the game, but that I thought made for a really good comparison. What’s funny to me is all that the two photos do NOT show of the long road in between them… my marriage (going on 33 years), my sons, my career, packing on the pounds and then working them back off (most of them, anyway), etc. And I’m *still* a work in progress. 😉
Paula says
I welcomed the opportunity to show that aging doesn’t have to “hit” you, nor should it be something to dread. If we aren’t aging, we aren’t living. I hope I continue to age for a long time to come.
Dawn Liles says
I think you have to have a sense of humor about this stuff! I posted a pic of my husband and I in Paris ten years ago (we were in our mid-forties) and posted a pic of a 80+ year old couple as our current photo, with the caption, “the past 10 years may have been tough, but we still love each other and that’s all that matters.” 🙂 Actually, we have been fortunate to have had a great 10 years with good health, children’s’ graduations, marriages, etc. But many friends laughed and seemed to enjoy that I didn’t take the whole thing so seriously!
Jeannie Ralston says
Love your sense of humor. And yes, seeing the humor in life is always such a good approach. Thanks for sharing.