We all have our particular preferences and peeves when it comes to vacationing—indeed, there may be as many travel personalities as there are places to visit. But we at NextTribe have observed that there are two basic ways we go: Some of us are compelled to hit a different destination every trip and some are drawn back to the same few places time after time. Of course, even the most adventurous among us will revisit a location (to hang with family, for instance), and confirmed return customers must go someplace new at least once to find their favorite spot. 

Ready to try someplace new? NextTribe takes small groups of women ages 45+ all over the globe. Take a look at where we go here.

Me? I’m a comfort seeker—or at least I became one once my husband and I found “our” place. We both tend to be road trippers more than globe trotters, and in our 25 years together have ventured up and down the Eastern Seaboard from our home base of NYC. We’ve done mountains (the Catskills, the Berkshires, the Blue Ridge) and we’ve done shorelines, from Block Island (where my Stone Head profile picture was taken) to Florida’s Sanibel Island (a shell collector’s paradise)—all beautiful, memorable getaways. Then we discovered Slower Lower Delaware. 

It happened by accident, really. In the mid-aughts, while in Cape May, New Jersey, for a long weekend, we saw signs for a ferry. “Why not!” we thought, intrepid explorers that we are. That off-season day trip to Lewes introduced us to a laid back surfer town and a pristine, empty shoreline—bull’s eye! So the following September, we returned for a week, this time heading a bit further south to Bethany Beach. We found fun thrift stores, quality cuisine with an emphasis on local seafood, and no noisy boardwalk attractions. We stayed in a small apartment on an ocean block, which was great—mere steps to the sand! So we returned…

Familiarity Breeds Content

A few years later, we found an affordable ocean-front place, one of the last small older homes that hadn’t been replaced by a party-ready McMansion. Its funky vibe, with Seventies furniture and macrame wall-hangings instead of the ubiquitous seashell and mermaid decor, led us to call it the “hippie house.” Waking up with the mighty Atlantic roaring good morning and padding down the plank path for an early walk and dip was heaven. Then it was back to the house for coffee, ukulele, and that view, occasionally dotted with dolphins. We had found not only our paradise but our home away from home.

The more familiar the surroundings, the more relaxed I feel on vacation. When I can get away, all I want is to chill in my favorite spot.

The more familiar the surroundings, the more relaxed I feel on vacation. As a freelance journalist, earning a living is a constant hustle. Some months I juggle half a dozen assignments; some months I pitch like mad to line up work—more stressful than researching and writing. So when I can get away, all I want is to chill. The same roads, the same landmarks, the same salty tang in the air.  

The attachment J. and I have to the area is about comfort and contentment, if not exactly romance—more warm and fuzzy than hot and steamy. A far cry from this couple we know who have a majorly mushy travel ritual. Every year, during the same week in May, they go to Paris, where they honeymooned. They book “their” hotel, even “their” room if available, and have a champagne toast from “their” balcony. Ooh-la-la—l’amour!

Been There, Done That

Some of you reading this (or attempting to) might’ve started snoring by now. That’s no doubt because for you a vacation is, by definition, all about a new destination. Take my college friend Carlie, who always travels to a different place, often on a pet-sit. “For me, it’s all about learning, so I look for situations in interesting cities and sites with historical significance,” says Carlie, recently returned from San Antonio, Texas. “Of course I did the River Walk and strolled around King William to check out the architecture, but I really was fascinated by the Alamo. Like did you know that two women were responsible for preserving the site?” 

When Carlie travels, she digs deep to discover local hangouts, and she walks as much as possible, which she considers the best way to experience new neighborhoods. “So once a trip is over, I don’t usually feel the need to go back,” she says.

Some people are all about new places, exploring and enjoying and then moving on to discover wherever is next on their bucket list.

My cousin Arlene is also a new-places person. While raising her two kids, she vacationed in child-friendly resorts occasionally, but her husband was a bit of a homebody. After his sudden passing in the mid-2010s however, she had an awakening. “The truth that life is short really hit me,” she says. So she got moving in earnest—with girlfriends, with her grown sons—hitting several European countries and the West Coast of the U.S. and Canada over the last decade. Her upcoming adventure is a river cruise on the Danube. “I’ve never been to that part of the world, and I’ve never done a cruise,” she says, admitting that her main travel buddy came up with the idea. “It wasn’t on my bucket list, but I just figured why not?”

Read more: The First Day of Vacation: Travelers Share Their Best Tips

Moving Between Two Travel Modes

Some of the women I talked to about this topic appreciate both the foreign and the familiar, though most lean one way or the other. Maritza, a retired international banker, went far and wide on business and still has a traveling bone—yet as she points out: “A bustling city like Tokyo or Berlin? If it’s been five years since you were there, you go back to your favorite spots and then discover new ones—a win-win.”

If it’s been five years you visited a big, bustling city, it’s probably time to return, revisit old haunts, and find some new ones!

Jan, an NYC-based media professional, typically seeks uncharted territory when she sojourns. “It’s a big world, and I want to see as much of it as I can,” she says, adding that she relishes the research phase, reading reviews of hotels, restaurants, hikes, and sights. Yet she sometimes feels a tug at her heartstrings, saying, “While I love new places, I get all nostalgic for my childhood summers spent at the Jersey Shore. So every couple of years, I’ll book a long weekend there and feel like a kid visiting Bradley Beach there and getting a cone at Beach Plum Ice Cream, which has been there for over 50 years .” 

To Thine Own Travel Type Be True?

It’s not as if one vacay style is better than another, of course. Nor do you need to choose. Just take a beat to think about what works for you and embrace it. Or not. Your travel type can evolve.

Perhaps mine will. As for my relative lack of wanderlust, well, I confess to a certain envy, sitting next to friends as they swipe pics of their globe-trotting. Arlene’s stay on the Amalfi Coast last year sure looked amazing. And Carlie sometimes takes extended house-sitting in exotic locales, and she’s invited me to join her—tempting, to be sure. So maybe I ought to compile a travel bucket list. Indeed, maybe I’ll start it next time I’m lounging on the deck of the hippie house!