Editor’s Note: Gray was definitely the hair color of the pandemic. It was a good time to experiment, and for those of you who are thinking of making gray your go-to shade, Barbara Peck, who took the leap a few years ago, shows us what to expect.
***
For decades, I dyed my hair to cover the gray without ever questioning it. I can’t remember exactly when I started, but I was an editor for a magazine in New York City and lucky to look young for my age. Letting my hair go gray would surely spoil the illusion. Wasn’t it career suicide for women in media to be old? Plastic surgery was never in the cards for me, but dyeing my hair… of course!
Over the next few decades, life changes rolled over me—divorce, longtime career yanked out from under me, adult sons still finding themselves. I wondered, Is there anything in my life that I have control over? I already make my own pickles; what else can I do that’s entirely my call, with no one to stop me?
My Turning (Gray) Point
The author before she started letting her gray grow in. Photo credit: Matthew Williams
I can date my decision to the day: October 10, 2017, after reading a New York Times article entitled “Working to Disarm Women’s Anti-Aging Demon.” Writing about age-based discrimination, Ashton Applewhite (who is on NextTribe’s advisory board) addressed the subject of women dyeing their hair instead of going gray. Her article, along with a photo of Frances McDormand looking all gray and sassy, struck a chord.
Aging is harder for women, Applewhite pointed out (oh really?). “Trying to pass for younger is like a gay person trying to pass for straight or a person of color for white,” she wrote. “These behaviors are rooted in shame over something that shouldn’t be shameful. And they give a pass to the underlying discrimination that makes them necessary.” She continued: “For movements to have power, their members have to embrace the thing that is stigmatized. That means moving from denying aging to accepting it, and even to embracing it.”
See why I was swayed? Admittedly I was already on the fence, but this article pushed me over, and I have Applewhite to thank for it.
I’d had my hair colored on September 3, 2017: that would be the last time. In mid-October, with roots showing, I tentatively revealed my decision to my friend Cara in an email: “I’m seriously thinking of letting my hair go gray. Kinda curious to see how it would look. And I can always go back!”
Cara, who rocks her silver mane like nobody’s business—and it isn’t!—gave me all the advice I needed. “Go for it!,” she wrote. “It took me about a year and a half to transition. Let the roots grow out until you can’t stand it anymore and then go to the hairdresser for lowlights—dark streaks added to blend in the white bits. At each visit I’d have a bit of the dyed stuff cut off the bottom. Maybe you’re braver than me and will go shorter quicker.”
Read More: Forever Blonde: Why I’ll Never (Ever!) Let My Hair Go Gray
Finding My Gray Gang
Cara’s other tip: Join the Facebook page Gray and Proud, which started in 2008 and now has 17,000 members, mostly women, need I say. Its motto: “Those aren’t gray hairs. They are strands of glitter.” It’s a great online support system and an endless source of advice.
Other friends reacted less positively. “Why would you do that? You’ll look way older,” some said. Most of those were women who held or had held high-powered jobs—and colored their hair. One told me I’d only look good if I always wore makeup and bright colors. I have noticed that gray tops don’t cut it anymore.
Friends who’d already let their hair go gray were, no surprise, totally supportive.
In November I returned to Carpio, my nice hairdresser, for a trim. When I broke the news he didn’t try to talk me out of it, but he warned that it would take two years to grow out. I was doubtful, but I now suspect he’s right.
My Salon Secret
The author in her current transitional phase. Photo credit: Caren Sturmer
Then I booked an appointment with my friend Susan’s colorist at Devachan salon. Larry understood exactly what I wanted and set to work, brushing in dark streaks that blurred the line where my roots were showing. Once he was done, I wasn’t sure. “It looks like he set me back!” I said to friends; a lot of my hard-earned gray seemed to have been covered over.
As it turns out, Larry knew what he was doing. In fact, he did such an awesome job that even seven months later I don’t feel I need more lowlights. The area where silver meets brown has an ombré look that seems almost natural. And whatever, my head looks just fine to me—and that’s what matters!
For years I lived with the dread of roots starting to show within weeks of a salon visit. Today I find it liberating—and still surprising—that I feel comfortable going out in public with not just a measly quarter-inch of roots, but a good four inches! And while I can admire photos of women on Gray & Proud with their “pixie cuts,” I’m in no hurry for a big chop. I’ve had shoulder-length hair for too long (and besides, big ears).
I don’t miss squandering two hours at the salon every seven weeks, as I once did. Nor do I miss that discomfort—my scalp was super-sensitive after the dye was applied, and the wash, comb-out, and blow-dry were somewhat torture. I don’t miss the money spent. My friend Carpio? I can still see him for cuts.
But it’s not just about the waste of time and money. I’ve considered myself a feminist ever since I helped start a consciousness-raising group as a student in the ‘70s. So why didn’t I have the confidence—or the consciousness—to say the heck with dyeing my hair to conform to some external standard of youth and beauty? To me, getting in touch with my roots feels like accessing my authentic self—even if my authentic self has hair that’s a totally different color than back in the day.
And, actually, the different color is part of the fun. I still don’t know how my head will look once all the dye is gone. I’m hoping for the streaky silver or “skunk stripe” I’ve seen on friends. Or Susan Sontag’s shock of white.
Read More: The Honey Hair Club for Women: The Most Common Way to Hide Gray
The Silver Sisterhood
Whenever I’m asked why I’m letting my hair go gray, and people do ask, I say I realized I don’t care what color my hair is—or what anyone else thinks about it. I’m not trying to convince others to follow this road. It’s a personal choice, and I don’t judge anyone for coloring her hair. But I do cheer on those I see transitioning like I am—I’ll nod to a stranger I pass on the street, and I appreciate anyone who does the same to me.
I also appreciate all those supporting me with advice: Diane, who helped me choose the perfect transition eyeglasses; my fine sons for not complaining that their mom looks “old”; Khristi, who suggested I keep my eyebrows dark so my face won’t look washed out; and many more.
Here’s another silver lining: Though my hair is still a work in progress, I’m already finding it easier to get a seat on the subway. And when I see someone standing who’s visibly in my age group, I don’t feel guilty about not getting up.
The last and maybe best benefit is the kick I get whenever I catch my reflection in a mirror—because I’m loving this adventure.
A version of this article was originally published in June 2018.
Bonus: Showing Off The Gray
Earlier, we ran a Hooray for Gray promotion and were overwhelmed by how many women showed off their silver manes. Our winner got her own fashion shoot. Take a look at all the beautiful gray heads out there.
Carol Gould says
My natural color was brown but had been dying my white regrowth for years wanted to transition and not color anymore.I had about an inch and a half of white and went to a salon with desire to get help with a transition. She beached and blended and my result was blond with some blending but that was several months ago and while I liked it in the the beginning I still have to have my hair blended every few weeks.
I want to stop coloring all together and allow my hair to get healthy again.Can I have white and silver highlights to transition so I don’t have to color anymore , just haircuts
Ann Hall says
I started dyeing my hair when I was 14, crazy colors through high school and college, and more professional ones as I got older. It took a pandemic to break me of the hair color cycle. I have white streaks framing my face and it’s coming in inexplicably curly. Some days I feel like this is a reinvention. What new person is emerging? And other times, I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and think “Who is that old woman?” The bottom line is, I’m not in a professional that is dependent upon my looks. It takes less than two minutes online for anyone to figure out my age group. I am not fooling anyone and I don’t lie about my age if someone asks. Why am I holding onto this?
Jeannie Ralston says
I like your attitude! What a nice concept to look at it as a reinvention. Oh, and please post a photo of your new hair on social media with the hashtags #HoorayforGray and #NextTribe. We’re giving away prizes and recognition. More details here.
Linda Grier says
I started coloring my hair red when I was 18. My hair was so beautiful and everyone loved it and it became my signature. Now since the pandemic I let my roots grow out and my grey is really grey, LOL. I’m over 70 now and want to go silver. My hair is now grey with red tips. I think I’m gonna do it (turn my hair a beautiful silver). What over 70 year old woman have hair with no grey? I just hope I like it when it’s done. Wish me luck.
Alice Carroll says
Thanks for the encouragement that having silver hair isn’t that bad and there are still ways style it properly. I’ve been thinking about not using hair dye anymore because it’s my grey hair just keeps on regrowing after dyeing. Perhaps I should just use my money for regular salon services instead of buying hair dyes.
LPizana says
Never, call it pride, I don’t care. I’m not ready for grannyvile yet.
JE says
Good for you, but why be snarky? Although women look naturally beautiful with their grays, it’s more beautiful to be beautiful inside than look beautiful outside. Ignore her, ladies. Being a granny is an honor, and grannies don’t look frail anymore.
Marion says
I have just read through all these comments and feel that that what is underneath many (not all) people’s desire to look younger by dying their hair is an attempt to not look older, as though looking your true age is shameful and something to avoid. I think as a society we need to work on embracing our age no matter what it is and if it’s older, feeling grateful that you have lived as long as you have. It’s a privilege to have lived long enough to have your hair turn gray. Think of the millions upon millions of people the world over throughout history who died prematurely in wars, through illness, crime, etc. who would have given anything to have been given the gift of being able to live to an older age. Your gray hair is a sign that you’ve been blessed with living a longer life. This is something to celebrate, and one way is to show off your natural hair color with gratitude and a joy for life!
Gill says
I completely agree Marion! I’m embracing my grey after years of trying to hide it. I see more and more pictures of women doing this, and they actually look younger and more vibrant, confident in themselves, than those who are so fearful that this colour hair ages them. I the 21st century, we are blessed with great products and stylists that can condition and cut our hair so we don’t have to settle for the frizzy grey perms of years ago. Well said Marion! X
Ellesor Holder says
I cover every single one!
Melody Smithey says
I ask my hair dresser if my hair in the back was as gray as the front, she said yes….so went with high lights and a short cut…i love it!
Anne Logston says
If I didn’t color my hair it would be WHITE. I’m 56 years old. No frigging WAY.
Joyce Dudley Hindman says
But then you could do a stripe of color or do like Misto and go orange… 😀
Teresa Pittman-Bass says
LOL. First world problems right? I did stop coloring for a year….but I’m not fully gray….just this ugly ash color and looked so washed out. Went back to color for now because it makes me feel better about myself and I don’t look as tired. That said…will be glad when I get more gray and then I will go color free. 🙂
Ann Edmonds says
I call mine “naturally frosted”. It’s all a matter of perspective.
JoAnne Sigond says
I stopped coloring my hair 15 years ago and have enjoyed each stage of owing gray. Embrace you!!!
Susan Thompson says
Stopped coloring mine, and I’ve never looked back. I love my silver and black hair.
Barbara Mahone Jones says
I started coloring my hair when I turned 40. I had always said I would stay natural but when a girlfriend said the gray made me look older I went for the color. I’ve considered going back to the gray but just can’t bring myself to do it! I admire people who feel comfortable with the gray but I’m not there yet!
Joyce Dudley Hindman says
do what makes you happy. 😀 Nobody can tell you you HAVE to EVER be comfortable with grey.
Terry Lowery Downey says
Nope.
Lisa van Harwell says
I’m in the process now. Caramel highlights and lighter brown. Mine is naturally so dark but I do have that “skunk look”!
JoAnn Dent Larsen says
I let go of the dye bottle a few years ago after 25 years of coloring. I’m so glad I did. Do I love it every day? No. But I didn’t love it every day when it was newly colored. Most people have been supportive but a few not so much. One man I had not seen in a long time said, “Oh but you USED to be so cute with your dark hair.” Awesome, huh? Especially from a guy with gray hair himself and missing teeth. . I would fully support anyone wanting to give up the dye bottle, but you must be ready. And you’ll know it when you are.
Gigi Gunn Merrill says
You do you. If it makes YOU happy! But if you wear makeup or cut and style your hair or wax anything or Botox or any combination…don’t be telling me it is you going all natural. Just say I wanted to have my natural hair color and I love it. Good on you!
Ken Joanne Worthman says
Don’t have enough grey wish i did would stop coloring
Carol Jones says
Mine bypassed grey and went to nearly white.
Dana Lee Pritchett says
I love my gray .
Lynette Erwin Waller says
Colored my hair light blonde for years and then last summer I was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent chemotherapy. When it came back in, it was salt & pepper gray. I get so many complements on the color that I decided to keep it.
Kimberly Necessary Howell says
I may get to that point someday but I’m not there yet. Only upside I did like my natural hair but I like getting to be a bit of an auburn red head person until I can’t stand dying it anymore!
Sherry Elias says
Forced to stop using dye when an extended migraine wouldn’t allow me to sit through that excruciating process. Migraine lasted over two 1/2 months so I had a good head start. Every time it was time to dye my hair it kept getting lighter, never any dark roots so I should have known what to expect was waiting for me. Anyway. All grown out now, got a great cut from my stylist Jenn at a Simplicity in Bethlehem, PA and I get compliments all the time! Love my gray hair!
Jessica Jones says
Been letting my hair go gray since it started going gray. Don’t see the big deal. It’s just hair.
Anita Lerch says
I stopped coloring 10 months ago and love it!
Dena Barbee says
I love my gray hair. And I’m free from long, expensive appointments at the salon.
Molly Harp says
Me too!
Suzanne Magdalena Rolph-Mcfalls says
I did! I’m 100% natural, have been for many years. Best decision!
Melody Gilham Lukaszewski says
Mixed feelings on this – good with the grey, not fond of the texture as it changes, really love my original hair color, so still debating.
Margaret Maggie Bourget Dubois says
I went gray 19 years ago when it grew back after being bald from chemo. Glad to have hair.
Victoria Torrey Merritt says
Finally fashion is catching up with me!
Mitzi Merrell says
I did it, and I love it! I get lots of complements on my natural hair!
Deborah Carter Mastelotto says
I just recolored one of those clients. “I know it sounds petty, but I couldn’t deal with the way people treated me. It was almost like I was . . .” She searched for the word. “Invisible” I said. Yes. It totally sucks, but our current, flawed society isn’t advanced enough yet to treat older women well. I’ll take any trick in the box to make my clients’ lives better.
Lynn Sadlon says
You are only invisible if you let yourself be. Been gradually going gray for nearly 20 years, since my mid-40’s.
Kimberly Maxwell Dostie says
Can’t wait to get to the salon on Thursday driving me crazy
Kimberly Maxwell Dostie says
NEVER!…
Mare says
About to start my 4th month without coloring my hair. I’ve had a grey strip in front of my jet black hair since I was in my late twenties. Mid forties I went blond. Covid -19 made me think maybe I should stop coloring my hair. I’m completely white around my face, looks like high lights. Some days I admit I’m not sure I like it but I’m going to see where it goes. To all of the women who did or didn’t do it. Respect sisters !! ????????
Kris Sexton says
Best thing I’ve ever done!
Victoria Renehan says
I quit coloring my hair 2 years ago.
Grew it out. Cut it off.
Now Im growing out as long as I can so that I’ll have enough for a nice wig donation.
Kari Koeppel Mason says
You look good!
Tamara Mietzke Leitch says
I don’t have a choice in the matter. I’m allergic to hair dye. I guess I find it odd that so many would invest so much angst in hair color, for me it just is what it is, not something I have control over.
And Susan Wise, I thought your hair was beautiful when you let it be natural.
Susan Wise says
Thank you, Tam! Someday I’ll go there again.
Marsha Evans says
You are lovely Tam. Funny, I don’t picture you as having gray. L
Tamara Mietzke Leitch says
I’ve had a gray streak since I was 27, and now it’s beginning to spread. I am also blessed with a husband who tells me it looks sexy.
Lisa Lewis Moon says
I actually want to go white with rainbow colors throughout. I am a tye-dye girl.
Lisa Lewis Moon says
NO!
Susan Wise says
I did. My stylist hated it. Said it didn’t work with my complexion. People gave me funny looks because the age signals were off. When I decided to accept a new career, I let my stylist choose a color. I have to admit it took off a decade or more.
Mary Wilcox says
Embracing the gray daily
Barrie Levine says
Wow, this is great—my people, the silver women! I wrote “The Story of my Hair” for my blog and I hope It will resonate with the tribe: https://barrielevine.com/the-story-of-her-hair/
Pam Kenney says
My hairstylist who is my age and also colors her grey told me that going grey was giving up! She was right I gave up ….the cost of color, I gave up all that time in a chair when I could be having coffee with my husband or a friend. But I am thrilled I did it! And that same hairstylist did an awesome job with my lowlights and blending…it literally took only 6-7 months before I could stop coloring completely. I was actually shocked about how my grey is coming in..it’s not all over and there’s actually lots of variations of grey as well as my darker brown color. Now I too notice all my 50 something + friends and acquaintances who are still slaving over their color. Don’t miss it one bit and love what I got! Be brave ladies!
Renee Ray says
Not me
Pat Ossa says
No, I don’t. Not yet, only because I get streaks of grey which I hate. Until I get a full head of grey I will give up on dying my hair
Deanne Turley says
Quit dyeing just over two years ago. Was a little stressful as my two daughters got married during that time, but my stylist did a great job of giving me a silver wash for the weddings. Now I am all grey and I love it. I get compliments all the time and people ask if there are highlights but it’s just the way it grows. Love being free from the monthly dye job.
Kathy Martin Lander says
Never have dyed mine!
Jeryl Parmenter says
Sorry but hair dye never really looks natural. Stopped dyeing mine about 9 years ago and have never looked back. My stylist did the low lights to ease the process.
Tamara Nelson Faulstich says
Do it! You won’t regret it
Michelle Bookout Lewis says
Nope. No way. Nada
Viki Jubenville says
I love my grays. They sparkle!
Kimberly Curry says
I’m nearly there, I’ll wait for you to do it first! ♀️
Patricia Jannay says
Yes! I love my natural silver/ gray/ light brown mix.
Lisa Haring says
I did it buzzed my hair to get rid of all dye. Start over. I’m almost completely Gray. The more I see it the more I love it.
Patricia Hankins Ball says
I started going lighter with my red a few years ago. Eventually I was blond. Then switched to highlights. I cut my hair short and have not colored in six months. I like my gray hair.
Susan Simmon Dodge says
I’m a year into going natural and I love it. Just takes patience.
Jodi Hiland says
I transitioned a few years ago. I love it, and so do strangers, friends and family. 🙂
Janet De Luca says
Gorgeous!
Wanda Hall Van Sickle says
Beautiful!
Terrea Nelson says
Love it ❤️
Pamela List Myhree says
Quit coloring mine. Loving it! Just turned 60.
Terrea Nelson says
Gorgeous❤️
Doris Gran says
Paula Tabke Ensz share with Susan!!
Sandi Van Pelt says
59 . . . all natural and ready for 60
Terrea Nelson says
Pretty
Tammy Drake says
My grey washes me out!Maybe much later.
Kitty McMinn Kress says
Never.
Lori Buscaglia says
Took me a year to grow out. My stylist was great – lots of haircuts and pep talks. My hair is so healthy and I don’t miss all the time/money of upkeep. It was resisting the color anyway. I’m almost 50 and have my skunk streak. No regrets!
Jennifer Gongaware says
When I turn 60!!!
Ann Foley Monahan says
Never! Can’t do it
Maggie Gruidel Allen says
My daughter is a stylist, she color corrected my hair so I didn’t have to cut it short. It’s so freeing! Megan Allen is at the Vanity Spot if you want this or any color and are in Austin TX!
Iva says
I am 72 and have always been told I looked young for my age so have colored my hair since the first hint of gray. It took the pandemic for me to actually see and appreciate the color of my gray hair. So no more dye! I don’t want to lose my below shoulder length but as the color fades from the hair that has been dyed it is turning copper. So I am getting a shag hair cut with gray highlights to try to hide the copper.
Nolie Avitts says
I haven’t dyed my hair in 10-15 years and get tons of compliments on my grey.
Lala Todd says
Doing it now
Debby Bill Marine says
I am 57 and it’s been over three years since I ditched the color. I find it very liberating. I haven’t cut in in that time either. Today my 4 year old grandaughter told me that I have, “glitter hair like a unicorn”. ❤
NextTribe says
That’s beautiful. Glitter hair!!
Lori Cepaitis-Lauer says
Love my gray. It’s freeing.
Pam Haralson Emery says
Stylist always say don’t do it.
Terrea Nelson says
Of course they do Pam Haralson Emery. They want your business
Marion says
It’s time to get a new stylist who supports your embracing of what color nature is giving you and is talented enough to know how to make whatever that is as healthy and fabulous looking as possible!
Facebook Comment says
Lydia Carter says
I love my silver, and my stylist is amazing, and loves it too. Rock your natural hair ladies!
Pam Vadeboncoeur says
Jodi Hiland, this is about you!
Susan Pettingill says
Got tired of the time/expense involved in highlighting, so a # of years ago my fabulous hairdresser spent 6-9 months helping me to grow it out gradually. Think I look pretty darn good for almost 67!
Jeannie Ralston says
Fabulous!! Next time we have a Hooray for Gray promotion, you’ll have to enter.
Mary Weidert Rubach says
Love it.
Karla Hart says
Lovely color!
Susan Pettingill says
Absofrigginlutely!
Joanne Rugg says
Plus you have beautiful hair!
Susan Pettingill says
Joanne Rugg Thank you ?
Becky Bettker says
To each her own, however, I’ve been a stylist for 37 years, grow out your grey BUT only if you wanna 10-15 years older! As for me 56, I’m grey underneath, but you’d never know, mines lavender and I love it!
Amy Shue Hays says
Being older isn’t one of those things I fear or avoid… I’m 60 and love my white hair.
Terrea Nelson says
Becky Bettker, how can you tell women “ each her own” grow out their gray, and in the same breath tell them if they do they will look old? That’s insulting, rude and completely untrue. None of these women appear to look old to me, they are actually fabulous women embracing who they are and their natural beauty.
#EmbraceYourGrayLadies
Becky Bettker says
Terrea Nelson READ! I’ve been a hairdresser for 37 years, were you thinking you know more about the subject of growing out grey hair more than me? I have helped my clients who don’t want to color their hair anymore grow it out. It’s bitch of a process, check the photos of the horrendous four inch roots on the author of the article! It’s not “rude, OR insulting” to be completely honest. I don’t harp on it with my clients, but if they ask me I will be COMPLETELY HONEST! YES you ABSOLUTELY WILL LOOK MUCH OLDER!!!! FACT! Some of these women don’t care, great! But most people don’t want to be perceived as being older, fact. How do I know that, because I’ve been a hairdresser for 37 years, that translates to literally THOUSANDS of clients. In a perfect world there wouldn’t be bias against ‘older’ women, however, sadly that ISN’T the reality of the world we live in, especially here in the U.S. Embrace away, I’m sticking with my purple!
Marsha Greenberg Underhill says
I find it funny that someone with purple hair is taking it upon herself to tell people with silver,grey,white hair that they don’t look as good as they could. Becky, you did say you will look 10- 15 years older, so don’t jump on Terrea. When you judge, you can insult. Not everyone looks old with silver hair. If you had just talked about how hard it is to grow out dyed hair, you would have been fine. But you decided to judge people on their looks because of their hair color. When I see older people with no gray hair- the first thing I think is, they color their hair. When I see someone with gray hair, I think, they’re comfortable in their own skin, not afraid of looking their age, and they know that people who judge someone on their looks/color of their hair, are superficial and not worth impressing.
Terrea Nelson says
Becky Bettker why are you getting your boxers in a twist and being so rude and condescending? I wasn’t rude to you. I simply stated that the women posting pics didn’t “look 10-15 years older” as you suggested. If you like your purple hair, I love it. I like my gray and will embrace it, but I’m not going to sit here and go back and forth with you about how good or bad you are as a hairdresser. I’ve never seen your work and can’t speak on it. I seriously doubt there is a bias against “older” women in our society. If that’s how you perceive it, maybe it’s “YOU” who is bias against older women ??♀️…. just saying, after all you are the “hairdresser”?
#EmbraceThatGrayLadies
Terrea Nelson says
Marsha Greenberg Underhill you are 100% correct in your thoughts as well. When I see an elderly woman in her late 70’s-80’s with dark hair, she doesn’t appear to look as well as if she had embraced her own natural beauty and allowed her self to age gracefully. The darker colors are so harsh on the aging skin tones and can make one appear older than the natural beauty of her own hair color. Simple as that.
Karen Ayers Clark says
Marsha Greenberg Underhill I don’t know why Becky thinks purple looks younger than gray. Terrea Nelson is correct about the darker colors on aging skin. I had a client in her 80’s who kept her hair dyed black–terrible! Both skin and hair pigmentation changes as you age. Relax and let it happen. (I am 72, and love the “sparkles” in my hair.)
Becky Bettker says
Terrea Nelson , once again a HAIRDRESSER knows there is a HUGE difference between coloring your hair a ‘natural’ looking tone for your age and skin tone, and being 80 and dying your hair black. No bias against older women, ?♀️??????????????
Becky Bettker says
Karen Ayers Clark wow, cause I’m in the ‘industry’ purple is actually a hot trend for ‘older women’ but maybe you two would like to let us all know we’re not being true to ourselves by wearing it!???? one of my best friends, one year older, wears her natural (grey) color, people have mistaken her for my mom! But I’m probably wrong, that’s why 95% of all professional females in the U.S. color their hair. ?
Becky Bettker says
Susan Sarandon aged 71
Marsha Greenberg Underhill says
Becky Bettker , ummmm, this example of Susan Sarandon, the make up or lack there of, the frumpiness, she’s playing a part in a movie. They want her to look like this. The only problem we have with your statement is you’ve made it an absolute, not an opinion. You’ve said women, not some women, you’re not taking anything else into consideration, just their hair color. That, Becky, is ridiculous. There are also women who color their hair, wear way too much make-up, dress like a slob, or dress like a youngster wanna-be, too much jewelry…..Tammy Faye Baker for example and that makes them look like an old person who is trying to fight it. Have an opinion, don’t have a statement.
Marsha Greenberg Underhill says
Oh, I didn’t get it before. She’s a hairdresser, one of millions of hairdressers, so she has to be correct. We’re not hairdressers, therefore we cannot disagree with someone in “the industry”. What an ego.
Terrea Nelson says
Touché
Pam Kenney says
Marsha Greenberg Underhill one of millions of hairdressers who won’t be raking in the $$$ that they charge for color! Remember our gain is their loss of revenue! Pretty transparent.
Marsha Greenberg Underhill says
Pam Kenney , correct!
Karen Ayers Clark says
Becky Bettker Following a “hot trend” is not my priority. It is not my intent to be argumentative, but please don’t be dismissive of those whose value system differs from yours.
Becky Bettker says
Karen Ayers Clark likewise muggles!
Marsha Greenberg Underhill says
Becky Bettker , you’re purposely not getting what we’re saying to you, Becky. You’re stating what you believe to be fact- you will look 10-15 years older. See, that’s your opinion. If you don’t understand, then that’s on you and it’s sad. Everything is not black and white, there is plenty of gray (pun not intended). Being a professional, you should also know that going gray is/was fashionable and in the magazines recently- and by that, I mean dying your hair gray- on purpose. But being in the profession, you should have known that. I believe we’re all done here, so you can continue to make a fool of yourself by proclaiming to your little kingdom that gray makes you look old, period. But we, the people who pay hairdressers money, are allowed to differ in our opinion. As Pam said above, your statement is to make us everyday people feel ugly and old so we run to our hairdressers and try to look younger, which benefits your paycheck. Ain’t gonna happen. There are some of us who are realistic, love ourselves for what’s inside, not outside, and don’t give a rat’s ass what you think of our looks. Look in the mirror.
Becky Bettker says
Marsha Greenberg Underhill aaaaaaaaaand that’s your OPINION. You don’t know me, you don’t know how successful I am, that my clients have followed me for decades, many are grey now. As I said, I have helped some them grow out their grey. Some women do look great grey, especially those blessed few with truly white hair. Like the woman who posted her photo in this thread. And yes of course I DO know grey trend, which for millennial by the way! I just think it’s hysterical that you all think you know so much more about grey and hair color than a professional, but I’ve heard it all! A client told a hairdresser friend this week that her roots were dark because she drank too much wine! ????? your just obviously super triggered by the idea of anybody suggesting a grey haired person will be perceived as older than someone with color. I didn’t make that up, that is a societal reality. I didn’t say that’s the way it should be. In a perfect world an older woman would be highly valued. I guess from your super defensive comments you think your living in that world, or more likely you know better and that’s why your so defensive. I have just been pointing out my observations, you know from the thousands of women whom I’ve worked with specifically about their hair and hair color for almost 4 decades. But if it makes you feel better sweetheart, I’m SURE you know better than me. By the way, I’ve unfollowed this group, way earlier, you people are definitely not for me, but you keep insisting on posting so I keep replying.
Terrea Nelson says
Becky Bettker you need professional help???
Becky Bettker says
Terrea Nelson seriously Terra give a rest already, get a life, move on
Marsha Greenberg Underhill says
Becky Bettker , your last comment is completely opposite of what you said in your first comment. Your last comment said people can look amazing with natural hair. That’s what we’ve been telling you! Jeez! None of us even mentioned about growing out colored hair, said anything about applying, removing, anything about dying hair. We never claimed to know absolutely ANYTHING about dyed hair, dying hair, hair care, cutting, knowledge of anything a beautician does. ALL WE FRICKIN SAID IS THAT WHEN YOU SAID, AS A BLANKET STATEMENT, THAT GRAY HAIR MAKES YOU LOOK 10-15 YEARS OLDER, YOU WERE WRONG AND WERE GENERALIZING MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. If your last comment replaced your first comment, none of us would have even corrected you. Now do you understand? You know things about hair that we don’t know- correct. Don’t care. Congratulations on your accomplishments. All we asked you to do was acknowledge that some people look fantastic with natural hair. And finally, you did that. Good bye and good luck.
Terrea Nelson says
Becky Bettker you have got to be kidding me! Of all people YOU tell ME to get a life??? that’s rich!
You “left the group” so now you’re trolling ? Good one ???
Becky Bettker says
Nope, not “trolling” your relentless comments keep showing up on my notifications board, see, that’s how FB works. So go ahead keep posting, I’ll keep replying, or, you can just stop and we both won’t have to hear from each other any more. ?
Helena Zahara says
64 and not going gracefully into the abyss.