Editor’s Note: NextTribe is three years old. Such a baby! But already an overachiever! In mid-February 2017, Jeannie Ralston and Lori Seekatz launched NextTribe with 12 articles, good intentions, and an almost complete lack of awareness of how tough the road ahead would be. But here we are: older (ain’t we all?), wiser (about some things), and yes, stronger than ever (woohoo!). To celebrate, we’re running three of the original articles published on NextTribe. All of them are by Jeannie Ralston, because frankly she wrote almost all those original articles. We have since published more than 900 pieces by some 75 plus writers—from bestselling authors to first-timers. Thanks to all of you who have helped us get this far.
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I know her. That hair. Tawny, they call it. Tawny with some filaments of blond that catch the light as she moves. Tawny with some threads of auburn that add depth and contrast. She doesn’t look like she gives a second thought about how to hide gray hair, she’s just got gorgeous honey hair.
I know her as a fellow member of a club that has as its motto, “You’re not getting older; you’re getting lighter.”
Who’s In the Club?

The author’s own progression: From brown 15 years ago…

…to today’s signature tawny tone.
We’re the ones who in pictures from maybe even five years ago would be considered brunettes. We’re the ones who saw the wiry gray and immediately went to the file in our brain where the last remnants of our middle-school biology class lessons are stored. We remembered the section on the chameleon and the mossy-leaf tailed gecko. Camouflage! The strands of gray would get lost in the mélange of gold and ginger, which would do double duty by brightening our face as well.
We sit in a chair for hours every couple of months getting our fix of celebrity junk in People or Us (and asking ourselves constantly, Who are these people?) while our colorist paints onion-skin-thin sections of hair with stinky goop and then folds each section up in tin foil.
We wonder if there could be a more tedious job, but we pay the colorist well for this exquisite layering of highlights and low lights, which is supposed to look natural, like sun-kissed tresses. And maybe to some eyes we do appear to have developed a late-in-life California-girl sheen by some type of mutation (who knows all the effects of climate change, right?). But we know better. We can spot a sister in strands immediately. They include some stars—such as Katie Couric and Barbara Walters (seriously, look at photos of them from the 80s)—and a neighbor or two. We are unified in our gratitude for the advances in chemistry that save us from our drab could-have-beens.
Saying No to Cruella de Vil
If I weren’t a member of the Honey Hair Club for Women, I would have a Pepe le Pew stripe on my right side, from my widow’s peak to my crown. One of my friends calls me Gray Streak—not that she’s ever seen it in its full glory—but she knows me well enough to have seen the inklings of it at my roots when I’ve gone too long between colorist appointments. Some people suggest I just let my gray streak be. Do a Susan Sontag or a Cruella de Vil. But I’m not that brave. Yet. For now I’ll just enjoy the company here in the club and hide gray hair. The way I see it, a third of the population of women over 50 can’t be wrong.
I will be 64 next month and I am only just starting to show grey hairs. It just proves that I don’t dye my hair. I am still a brunette and my hair is quite long. I normally pul lit back as a ponytail or pile it up on my head with clamps. I don’t wear make up.
Yesterday at the gym a guy said he didn’t know why he was there because he was 62 and he should be doing other things. I told him I was nearly 64.He was visibly shocked! Fortunately the Personal Trainer who is sorting out my knee problems backed me up. The guy just couldn’t believe I was 2 years older than him.
I think it is down to attitude. I felt 86 at 36 following sepsis – so feeling 45 at 63 is good. I put the lack of grey down to sufficient consumption of soya milk and genes. I was diagnosed with an intolerance to cow’s milk at the age of 27. I use moisturiser when my skin feels dry but not daily. I have health issues but I don’t let them worry me. Having nearly died – more than once- I appreciate life and apart from working full time I manage an allotment and help my husband manage a wood.
Life is great! Bring it on!
I love your confidence — who cares what you really look like, just power on! Me to the max, right? Hurray!
I’ve always had honey hair, and my experiences with hair color have been nightmarish, so I’ll just have to hope my hair will look like my Mom’s–thick and silver-white.
I have big gray streaks on either sides of my hairline…I kinda like those but the gray sprinkling throughout not so much. I’m tempted to go gray but hubbs says he’s not quite ready for that. So I will wait a little longer
Wow, so Hubs doesn’t want you to look your age? What a catch he is!! I say ditch him — and the dye. Poor you. Good luck abe — you need it!
I lightened up many years ago and haven’t looked back.
I miss my dark brunette hair! I asked my stylist to put in some lowlights on Saturday, and she said ABSOLUTELY NOT! So honey hair it is, I guess!
Tried the honey club but could never find myself in photos. Changed back to brown but do it myself…for now. 😉 Of course in my husbands head he thinks I don’t need to do anything, but he would have a different opinion if I stopped. Haha. #sadtruth
I was a member of the honey streaked club for about 10 years. Loved the soft, natural look as I didn’t cover all of the gray. But when I turned 70 last May, I decided I wanted to claim my age and see what color my hair really is. So now I’m about 85% dark ash brown and 15% gray. Does age me a bit, but for now, that’s okay!
You should post a photo. Your hair sounds lovely!
Okay, after a year I’m missing my honey highlights and am heading back to see Mark next week to add just a few around my face! 🙂
You’re allowed. I’m going for my honey fix this afternoon.
Joined this club about 2 years ago. Very difficult to go from brunette to honey but once you take the leap, its fun! My husband would like me to go blonder. Not going to happen!!
Hello fellow club member. We are many!