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How to Survive Midlife Divorce (Plus What to Do with That Wedding Ring)

Here Karen Bigman shares the steps she took after divorce. Now she is living-proof of a more fulfilling single life.

This post is sponsored by Worthy.

When did we go from Baby Boomers to Gray? According to Wikipedia, Gray Divorce is a term referring to the demographic trend of an increasing divorce rate for older (“gray-haired”) couples in long-lasting marriages.

Since I apparently belong to this phenomenon, I’d like to apply for a name change: Pink Divorce.

Getting divorced was not the happiest or easiest time of my life. The marriage had suffered a slow, painful deterioration over the years and neither of us wanted to live out our lives as an unhappy couple. We made the decision to go our separate ways after over 20-plus years together. I spent many sleepless nights and shed my body weight in tears, but, in my heart, I knew we would be better off living our own versions of an ideal life. I turned my focus on the future.

Moving out of our family home after 23 years was a chance to create a new phase of life.

Moving out of our family home after 23 years was a chance to create a new phase of life. It was a time to refresh myself and my stuff. I bought new furniture, found new friends, and cut and colored my hair with a chic, “young” look. I decided to sell my wedding ring and loaded up my ears (seven earrings and counting).  I learned to live life independently. I went to concerts by myself and became confident eating alone in restaurants and traveling wherever and whenever I chose.

Gray Divorce: Making a Big Financial Decision

I made the first big financial decision of my life on my own by buying an apartment in a new neighborhood, far from where I had lived for over 30 years. There was no one to tell me it wasn’t right for me. I designed and decorated exactly the way I wanted to. I also founded a business, The Divorcierge, to help others navigate divorce.

Time and again I see middle-aged women rocking life. They are reinventing themselves after a difficult divorce, starting new businesses and new careers, founding charities, and dating again. They’re not interested in retiring and playing golf. They are adventurous, playful, and confident. I am very pleasantly surprised at how many younger men (Gen X’ers) are interested in dating older women!

Despite these not always minor inconveniences, my spirit and drive have grown exponentially post-divorce.

I can’t hide the physical signs of aging that are creeping up on me. My digestive tract continues to reject all the things I’ve always loved like wine and French fries, my joints creak like an old hinge, and the letters on my phone keep getting smaller. Despite these not always minor inconveniences, my spirit and drive have grown exponentially post-divorce.

This divorcee is embracing the possibilities: pink, red, platinum blond. But gray?  NO WAY!

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Karen Bigman, founder of The Divorcierge, is a Martha Beck Trained Life Coach and a CDC Certified Divorce Coach®. She holds a B.S.B.A. from Boston University and an M.B.A. from Columbia Business School. Karen has also completed Harvard Business School’s Executive Education Program “A New Path: Setting New Directions.” She is the mother of two young adults. Karen is successfully navigating her way through single life.

By Karen Bigman

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