Bored with Chardonnay with their cheese at parties, women in the U.K. are reportedly going for something stronger. Much stronger: MDMA, a.k.a Ecstacy or Molly, sprinkled into the gooey center of Brie cheese.
MDMA is a stimulant and hallucinogenic that produces feelings of increased energy, pleasure, emotional warmth, and distorted sensory and time perception.
Before I knew it we were in an in-depth conversation about my fantasy sex life with an old friend.
“We did not seem to have as much of a laugh than as when we were younger, there always seemed to be barriers up between us,” a 50-year-old told a London newspaper. “So, one of our group suggested we all take MDMA together so we could open up to each other and improve our friendships.” After a warning from a friend’s son “not to sniff or swallow it like a pill,” the women added it to the cheese, which they ate on crackers in the normal way.
Things got pretty un-normal after that.
“Nothing much happened for forty minutes then the colors in the rug seemed to be a more vivid and before I know it [we were] in an in-depth conversation about my fantasy sex life with an old friend. It was such an intense experience. I am sure most of us at that party have done it with other friends so now wrapping MDMA in Brie seems to be a thing now.”
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A Craze or Just Crazy?
British newspapers report that this “new craze” of “brie-ing” has re-surfaced after being popular in the 2010s. We’re surprised no one connected it to this recent development in the U.K. But beyond several anecdotes of middle-aged women hosting these wild gatherings, the only evidence presented is that in the Netherlands criminal gangs have been robbing dairy farms of huge quantities of cheese. This sounds like a caper right out of a Wallace and Gromit movie.
A lot of fun has been had with the idea. “As for ‘brieing’, the idea behind it isn’t really new at all… sticking drugs inside cheese has traditionally been the purview of pet owners who need their beloved animal companion to take a their medicine without noticing,” one publication pointed out.
This sounds like a caper right out of a Wallace and Gromit movie.
Some of the reports have been maddeningly offensive.
Here’s what Vice said: “If you’re a middle-aged woman with a tremendous amount of disposable income, it’s so hard to be satisfied, you know? Like, how does one find fulfillment, especially in those empty hours between riding your Peloton and obsessively refreshing the New Arrivals section on the Eileen Fisher website? Apparently, the answer is drugs!
“To be fair, the answer to that question is usually drugs, but instead of shaking a couple of their son’s Adderalls out into their impeccably moisturized hands, a group of upper class British women have started dosing themselves with MDMA… wrapped in cheese.”
Can we just say how stupid this writer sounds. Doesn’t he know (we assume it’s a he) that we’re obsessively refreshing the New Arrivals section on the Norma Kamali website?
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