Cheryl Strayed and Elizabeth Gilbert set a high bar after getting divorced: Both went on life-changing travels and penned best-sellers based on their experiences, which then were turned into films. (And got gorgeous women to play them. See Julia Roberts in the Eat, Pray, Love movie above.)

NextTribe takes small groups of women ages 45+ on immersive trips around the world. Come see where we’re going next.

While that’s not our goal, the two of us have our own experiences with the role travel can play in healing and personal growth after divorce (or the ending of any kind of deep relationship). No doubt, divorce is a major change, recognized as one of life’s most stressful events. It’s also become more common, hitting record rates among adults 45 and older while dropping for those under 45. Is travel the cure-all for post-divorce blues? No, but it can be a conduit for healing.

Come take a closer look at the ways travel can be a balm after a major breakup.

Post-Divorce Travel: New (Empowering!) Experiences

It’s natural to want to just hunker down post-divorce, but many women say they’ve gained confidence and independence by hitting the road. Divorce coach Jen Uschold, based in Virginia, notes, “When you are in a different physical space, it creates a new opportunity, and you can be more creative and focused.” For example, if you were in a stressful marriage, you’d get used to responding to people and circumstances in a certain way. New experiences, such as travel, can help you build new, hopefully more positive neural patterns.

Let’s unpack that: Jen provides an example from her own life, prior to her divorce, of how travel can be a big confidence-builder. She went to Scotland to watch her daughter perform in the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. It was Jen’s first time in Europe, first time in an Airbnb, and first time traveling on her own. She was riddled with anxiety. While previous trips had been about pleasing the people she was with, keeping the peace, and meeting obligations, this time she discovered the joy of being able to do whatever she wanted. She could shop whenever she wanted, eat where and what she wanted, and more. Indulging in ice cream just before climbing Arthur’s Seat? Yes – and no one would judge her for it! She spun this independence into confidence: if something goes awry, as can happen on a trip, she would figure it out.

Travel made me feel that I could manage on my own, said one woman of the confidence-building powers of taking a trip.

Katrine Sele, an author and journalist based in Norway, echoed this sentiment. “Travel made me feel that I could manage on my own,” she says, “and strengthened my belief in myself. And it doesn´t have to be far. Discovering nearby mountains in winter was just as important as going to other countries.” Her conclusion about travel’s post-divorce impact? “There is a feeling of the world being new, and of me being able to move in it in a new way,” she explains.

Post-Divorce Travel: A Ticket to Personal Growth

Sometimes post-divorce travel sidesteps sightseeing and guides us inward. After her separation, Laura Clapp, a designer living in southern California, took a couple of trips focused on meditation amid nature. Specifically, she went to Tassajara Zen Mountain Center (the oldest Japanese Buddhist Sōtō Zen monastery in the United States) in the Los Padres National Forest, and a meditation retreat in Baja California. “The retreat allowed me to reconnect with my authentic self and prepare for the weeks and months of negotiations I had ahead,” she says. “I needed that mix of both being at home and taking trips that were meaningful to me.”

For one woman, a post-separation retreat helped her prepare for the months of divorce negotations she had ahead.

Shortly after her divorce, Deb Binder, a marketing consultant who splits her time between Massachusetts and Florida, signed up for a women’s tour to Hawaii to help rediscover herself: “I did not know who I was anymore.” But after registering, she immediately got cold feet. Then she posted on a Facebook page about her fear of traveling alone (well, with a group, but all strangers). Many years later, she still recalls someone’s reply: “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” This message gave her the courage to go on her first solo (successful) trip. She’s traveled thousands of miles around the world since!

Traveling After a Separation: You Probably Have the Necessary Skill Set

Here’s another reason why traveling after a divorce can be a not too taxing but very welcome move. Women are often the primary trip planners while married: researching and getting agreement on where to go and when, and then wrangling budgets, itinerary, reservations, and so many more details. As a result, many women already possess travel skills for solo adventures. All they need is courage (well, and time and money).

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Susan Kim of the DC metro area met her ex-husband while on vacation in Thailand. Travel was a constant during their marriage, including after their sons were born. Post-divorce, she began deploying her planning talents on her own behalf. She still prioritizes travel for her sons and has gained a sense of accomplishment by traveling solo: “I used to be afraid to go to the movies alone. Now I feel good that I can travel safely and take care of myself and my kids.” One change: During marriage, her ex-husband did the driving. Now she takes Ubers and trains to get around.

And of course it’s okay if travel doesn’t kick in right after a separation. Sometimes it takes years before the first post-divorce trip is possible. After divorcing in 2011, Sue Emerson, who lives in Seattle, planned a celebratory trip to Kauai. But practicalities intervened: Money was tight, and her children were in high school. She finally made the journey in 2016 with her mother and sister. The trip was planned so she could “take a breather, even though it’d been five years.” A frequent traveler, she looks back on that 2016 trip as a turning point. “That first trip was the culmination of the whole divorce process and journey,” she says, “a gift to myself that I looked forward to the most.”

A New Angle on Family Bonding

Traveling with your children post-divorce has special rewards in terms of coalescing your new family dynamics. Let us share our experiences: Diane had a heartwarming surprise when she took her adult son to Quebec City while going through her divorce. An experienced traveler, he took the lead on planning, from thrifting to scrumptious dining in the old city to e-biking on Île-d’Orléans. When Diane thanked him, he replied that it was the least he could do. He had realized how much time and emotional labor she had invested in organizing family vacations in the past.

Family getaways after divorce can be healthy for you and your kids: Adventure, fun, and exploring new places can still happen!

For her part, Susan found solace and joy in travel with her three now-adult children during a year-long “collaborative divorce” process (what an oxymoron!) 14 years ago and beyond. She feels lucky to have experienced everything from a low-key Cape Cod getaway to backpacking in Olympic National Park (“We’ll carry the heavy stuff, Mom,”) to cross-country skiing in Yellowstone National Park to celebrate her 60th birthday (“Let’s ski uphill to the Continental Divide. You can do it, Mom”). Navigating the fallout from divorce in part through these travel adventures was, Susan hoped, not only healthy for her but also for her children. Adventure, fun, and exploring new places could still happen!

Fresh Adventures Equal More Fun

But travel post-divorce doesn’t have to only be with family. One winter, Susan went to Norway to see the Northern Lights with three other women, one a dear friend with a terminal cancer diagnosis, who had assiduously researched and planned this bucket-list trip. This trip created forever memories and taught her the joy of traveling with other adventurous women.

While it may seem intimidating at first, travel can play a major and powerful role after a divorce. Diane describes a cloud lifting when she first traveled without her now-ex-spouse. Susan agrees. The tension of a failing marriage can cast a pall on many vacations, and then the sun peeks through on the post-break-up “solo” trips.

Indeed, in the winter of 2024, we (Diane and Susan) traveled to New Zealand together, intending the trip to honor the end of Diane’s divorce. Instead, her legal process dragged on another 11 months. We had a fabulous trip anyway! Now we need to decide where to go to mark the official launch of Diane’s next chapter.