I think only menopausal women will appreciate my worst case of packer’s remorse. A few years ago, I was traveling by bus in the English countryside with my sons and nieces. When I went to the bathroom in Windsor, before re-boarding the bus for a 90-minute ride to Stonehenge, I discovered that I had started my period–in a big way.

Because it had almost been a year since my last period, I had thought I was finally done. Therefore, I packed no tampons. The bus was about to leave–my sons and nieces had already boarded–and I knew it was a terrible idea to wait till we got off the bus again. I made a mad dash through Windsor to find a place to buy tampons. 

When I got back to the bus, I was scolded by the driver (and my sons) for holding us up for 10 minutes. And I scolded myself for not being prepared. A tampon would have taken up no room whatsoever. What had I been thinking?

Read more: What to See and Do in Scotland (An Opinionated List)

Why Packer’s Remorse is So Common 

Here’s the thing about packing: You can’t think of everything, no matter how hard you try, which is what  makes packer’s remorse such a common condition. Plus, most of us pack in a near state of panic or with miscalculated ideas of what 60 degrees will feel like in a wet, cloudy climate. Or of how our feet will fare after a couple of days of walking in the cute new shoes we bought for the trip. 

As a matter of fact, most of my packing missteps–besides the tampon incident–involve bringing the wrong shoes for the job. And I’m not alone. Shoes are the hardest item to pack. They are bulky and therefore we only can take a few (please never pack more than four pairs!). Also, they can have such an outsized impact on the enjoyment of the trip. 

One of my good friends almost ruined her Paris vacation when she wore sleek leather slides on the plane ride over. During her connection at London’s gigantic Heathrow airport, she had to run for her next flight and with the friction, the slides caused huge blisters on the ball of each foot. 

By the time she arrived in Paris, she was near tears from her shoes and headed to the closest store to buy a pair of sneakers. 

By the time she arrived in Paris, she was near tears and headed straight for the closest sports store for a pair of sneakers. She walked gingerly from then on and wore the sneakers the whole week—even with her nice dinner dresses–because the blisters were so raw. “Among all the gorgeous, fashionable French women,” she says, “ I felt like a little gnome in those stupid sneakers.” 

Blame the Pre-Trip Frenzies

With such busy lives, many of us put off packing till the last moment, which increases the risk of packing the wrong things or not enough of what you need. 

At a niece’s wedding recently, the mother of the groom had a catastrophic case of packer’s remorse that almost derailed the event–or at least her fun at it. On the way out the door of her home, she grabbed the garment bag with her gown. 

On the day of the ceremony, she was busy helping with preparations, and, as she tells it, “I returned to the hotel room about two hours before I needed to be at the church, feeling such relief that all I had left to do was get dressed. After my shower, I opened up the garment bag and sank to my knees at what I saw. I had accidentally grabbed the bag with my winter coat–not my dress.” 

“I opened up the garment bag and sank to my knees at what I saw. I had accidentally grabbed the bag with my winter coat, not my gown for my niece’s wedding!”

The wedding was taking place in a small town in Virginia; not the kind of place with anything close to a Macy’s or Nordstrom. Without much optimism, she went to the thrift store the concierge had suggested. Bracing herself for some moth-eaten, out-of-date confection, she was thoroughly surprised to find a sophisticated sea-foam green dress that fit her perfectly. “I almost fell on my knees again–this time in gratitude,” she says. “I actually liked it better than the dress I had originally bought–for way more money.” 

NextTriber Louise Joy also suffered packer’s remorse for important items left unpacked. She was orchestrating a family trip to Estes Park, Colorado. In the hubbub of preparing everyone else’s suitcase, she forgot something for herself. 

“Mom’s stuff comes last of course,” she says. “I ended up with no underwear for me. Not easy to replace in a tourist town. No place sold underwear except for the general store, and it was a really awful selection. Now I make sure all my bags have pairs of underwear squirreled away.”

At least she had clothes. Nancy Marroquin of Driftwood, Texas, remembers the time she arrived at a retreat in a rural area and opened her bag to find…nothing. “I absolutely forgot to pack my suitcase,” she says. “So I shared clothes with my husband the whole weekend. Except for undies. I sure looked hot in his belted-up pants.” 

Misreading the Weather or the Vibe

Once, as I prepared for a trip to the Caribbean in February, I got carried away thinking of how great it was going to be to escape the cold of the States. I glanced at the weather forecast, but didn’t put a lot of thought into it. It was the Caribbean. How could it not be warm and gorgeous?

What I didn’t account for was the wind. The breeze off the ocean was so strong that even in the sun there was a distinct chill. I had packed mainly sleeveless tops, sundresses and shorts. I longed for the cotton sweater that I’d pulled out of my bag at the last minute. 

Now on every trip, no matter what season, I pack a shawl and layers, including a light cotton sweater. 

“In Thailand, I was given a well-worn and very ugly printed skirt to pull over my shorts. I considered it the skirt of shame!”

It’s just as easy to make a mistake about what is considered appropriate dress. Many friends told me that packing shorts to an Asian or Muslim country has been their biggest regret. “At a temple in Thailand, I was given a well-worn and very ugly printed skirt to pull over my shorts,” one pal reports. “I considered it the skirt of shame!”

In Laura Ross’s case, she misread how she’d feel among her group on an African safari. “On my first and only African safari, I was determined to do it like a pro,” she says. “I read and absorbed all of the info about gear and clothing and began the hunt.” She made plenty of good decisions–great binoculars and a simple but good digital camera, a wide-brimmed hat, and plenty of sunscreen and bug repellant. 

However, she adds, “I went off the rails on clothing. Thinking I’d look like a ridiculous gringo tenderfoot tourista in all that stereotypical safari gear, I opted for a version of street clothes–i.e., khakis, jeans, T-shirts, light dresses, sweaters, sneakers. Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong. First of all, I stood out in exactly the way I didn’t want to among my properly outfitted comrades. And second (and more important), my clothes didn’t breathe.”

“I stood out in exactly the way I didn’t want to among my properly outfitted comrades. I was too hot except when I was too cold.”

Her clothes didn’t dry well, she says. She was too hot except when she was too cold. “I was wet from rain when I wasn’t wet from sweat. The best thing I packed was a bandana but I only packed one.” She kept her suffering to herself–“It was my own damn fault, after all”–and still had a fantastic time. But she vowed to never make the same mistake again. 

“You better believe I was perfectly outfitted for the Galapagos, including a lot of gear I wish I’d had in Tanzania,” she says. “Live and learn. My takeaway: Follow the advice of the outfitters and get over your bull***t from middle school about looking cool.”

The Tightrope Walk

The most critical challenge in packing is finding the balance between looking good and being comfortable. I’ve found that it’s actually getting easier with new, imminently packable fabrics and a focus by brands on shoes that thread that particular needle. Making lists and giving yourself time to think through what you’ll need can be hugely helpful, too.

Plus, the more you travel, the better you get at anticipating and pre-empting packer’s remorse. What a nice way to cure a persistent problem–go on more trips!

Read more: “My Favorite Travel Souvenir Ever! Women Like You Share Their Stories

Jeannie Ralston is the founder of NextTribe and author of Pack Like a Pro.