I met one of my close friends and muses (Ronnie, who used to be Merv Griffin’s PR guy) while sitting alone at a bar in East Hampton, New York. If I hadn’t been open to chatting with someone I didn’t know, we’d never have become pals.

But that’s not the only way talking to strangers has helped me. Via a conversation on the beach this summer, I found a source for an article I was working on.

In Arizona (my current home state), I often travel to new areas for social gatherings, like this fabulous dance party called Daybreaker (a little bit of Burning Man without the mud) and dinners with a group called Time Left which involve, yes, talking to people I don’t know.

I’m an ambivert at heart (a shy person who has overcome my fears) but now know how to make friends while traveling. I have learned the right way to start conversations with total strangers to grow my social circle, my business, and my insights and perspectives. The last one is probably the most important in this era, as people with different life experiences, views, home states, and backgrounds can help us expand our viewpoint at any age. In other words, there are a whole lot of benefits to ignoring the childhood mandate of “Don’t talk to strangers!”

Stranger Danger: Staying Safe

First, let’s deal with the knee-jerk reaction: “How do you stay safe?” my fellow women travelers ask when I mention chatting up strangers. You may be wondering the same thing.

Over time, those of us who consistently speak to strangers are pretty good at picking up on creepy vibes. 

Although this may seem like common sense:

• Make sure at least one friend knows where you are and who you’re with.
• Reference a significant other within the first few minutes of conversation with a stranger of the opposite sex if you’re not looking for a romantic connection.  Or come up with a faux partner. In this case, a little white lie can stave off awkwardness later.
• Stay in public places. 
• Learn the safety lexicon and hand gestures.
• Consider investing in a piece of smart alarm jewelry.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, remember this: The benefits of engaging with strangers on the road can help you feel less lost and lonely and can lead to discovering hidden gems while traveling.  

How to Make Friends While Traveling: 3 Tips

Here are some prime ways to chat with strangers.

1. Travel With a Group

This one is the most obvious. Tours, cruises, and other group excursions are simple ways to meet other people while on the road. 

If group travel isn’t your thing, consider which of your friends might make a good wingperson for an adventure. If you’re nervous speaking to strangers, hit the road with someone who loves to do it. But make sure to set the expectations in advance. If you’re traveling with someone who thinks you’re going away just for “girlfriend time,” they may be offended if you bring other people into the conversation or suggest group activities.

2. Book an “Activity Trip”

Film and other cultural festivals, sporting events, and even professional trade shows and conferences are social environments where people are prompted to interact with each other. While waiting in line for a movie or concert, ask the person behind or in front of you some basic (but not too personal) questions, like “Where’s a good place to grab a bite after the show?” or “What have you heard about [fill in the name of the performer]?”

The benefit of these types of trips is that you already have a common bond with the people you’ll meet. You are all fans of the same activity or category.

3. Go Solo but Make Plans to Connect

Here’s where social media can come into play. If you have a friend in or near a particular city or town (say, an Instagram pal you have never met IRL but chat with online a lot), let them know you’re coming and suggest a meet-up that they bring along other people.

If you’re feeling a bit daring, switch your dating app profile to the place you’re visiting; this is sometimes known as “destination dating.” Bumble has a “friend finder” so even if you’re not seeking a romantic connection, you can meet new people wherever you are.

As mentioned earlier, Time Left is global and offers small curated dinner parties in many locations. You are bound to be a novelty if you attend one overseas if you’re from the U.S.

Sign up for tours and use MeetUp to find activities that are happening in the location you’re visiting. Attend religious services in your destination city if that’s your jam.

Choose to eat at restaurants that have communal tables or convivial bars. You can sometimes glean this from online reviews or the hotel concierge.  Cafes (including those in parks) are other good spots to strike up a conversation.

How to Break the Ice With Strangers

You ultimately want to be viewed as curious and interesting, rather than annoying or overly aggressive. If you start a conversation with someone and their body language and tone indicate they want to be left alone (say, they immerse themselves in something on their phone), move on. And, of course, you can always ask, “Are you okay with my speaking to you?”

Ask questions that create a bond. For example, if you’re talking to a stranger in a restaurant, ask if they like what they ordered as you’re perusing the menu. But remember, as with all relationships, you’re building a connection rather than conducting a deposition. Pace your questions, and actively listen to the answers.

Not vibing with someone? Exit gracefully. Obviously, if someone on your group tour is irking you and you need to spend five more days with them, be courteous but find ways to politely avoid them.

Once you’re comfortable with your “new friends,” exchange information, but be careful not to divulge TMI. Your LinkedIn profile is a safe bet. Never tell someone what hotel you’re staying at if you travel solo or with a friend.

Travel can be a powerful way to expand your social and business community. Smile, speak, and experiment. And, of course, be cautious!