White-washed buildings, sea water that matched the sky, and unlimited servings of Greek salad: My recent island-hopping trip through the Cyclades (along with several other friends, celebrating a big birthday for one of them) certainly didn’t disappoint. But it was the first time I had been part of group travel in a while, and I realized I might be a little rusty about how to do the right thing. Which had my brain buzzing with questions:

Would it be rude to take that last piece of baklava on the dessert tray?

Is it okay to be catching up on email when everyone else was chatting about the state of the world?

And regarding the state of the world: Isn’t politics a verboten topic, even if we all know we vote the same way?

I figured I’m not the only one with these questions, so I tapped the brilliant minds at NextTribe, which takes small groups of women ages 45+ on immersive adventures around the globe, for their best group travel tips.

Be a Little Selfless

Who doesn’t want the front seat in the van, the window seat on the boat, the comfiest chaise by the pool, and—while we’re at it—that last piece of baklava, drenched in honey and glistening so temptingly? But group travel is a lot like being part of the family, and sharing is caring. So whether you’re holing up in a bunk-bedded room or vying for the sunscreen on a sweltering day, use your top-notch communication skills, be negotiable, and realize that most of these details aren’t make-or-break when it comes to the good time you’re having.

For instance, on my trip around Greece, there were definitely seats at breakfast with a view of the water cascading against the chalky shore, and there were also chairs that looked toward the kitchen door. An observant and fair-minded traveler noticed this on day one and got us on a happy schedule of swapping sides daily.

Who doesn’t want the front seat in the van, the window seat on the boat, or that last piece of baklava? But remember, sharing is caring.

That said, notes NextTribe founder Jeannie Ralston, “If you do have an issue like getting motion sickness if you don’t have a particular seat, tell your group’s leader. They will do everything they can to accommodate it.”

Be on Time

Yes, we sound like your mother, but this one is a biggie in the world of group travel tips. If you’re traveling solo or with one other person, being late is only inconveniencing one or two people. But on a group trip, sleeping in or being a straggler (say, because you’ve got to nab Queen Bee status on your spelling puzzle and you’re just two words away) could mean that everyone else’s outing is delayed. No fair!

If a shop window catches your eye while on a group outing, take a photo to remind yourself to go back on your own later.

Also don’t dawdle during planned outings. Sure, there are going to be vistas catching your eye and igniting your curiosity at every turn. “Don’t hold the others up, though,” advises frequent NextTribe traveler Lucie Frost. “If there’s a beautiful thing in a shop window that you just must see, take a photo of it to remind yourself to go back on your own later. No one wants to wait around for folks who are caught up in their own world.”

Put Politics on Pause

Many of us are passionate about politics, especially with the upcoming election looming. But no matter what—even if you know everyone on the trip is loyal to the same party—talking about such things can be a major vacation buzzkill. On the trip I recently took, several of us couldn’t resist sharing the latest headlines and running commentary. While our political affiliations were aligned, a couple of travelers got so stressed out one day that they got up and went elsewhere to meditate together and calm down.

Even if you’re all loyal to the same party, talking politics can be a major vacation buzzkill and really stress out your other group members.

We newshound blabbermouths were embarrassed to have caused them so much anxiety—and refrained from any blue vs. red conversation for the rest of the trip. If you find yourself in the midst of a conversation that feels as if it’s heading out of bounds, there’s nothing wrong with interjecting, “Can we please change the subject? This is getting to me,” or having a word with your trip leader.

Politics isn’t the only controversial topic, though—kvetching about your evil ex and many other subjects are likely to be less than joyful for your trip-mates. How about sharing thoughts on how fun the afternoon outing was or the interesting historical tidbit you learned about the hotel instead?

Mix It Up

Whether your travel group could fill a minivan or a tour bus, get to know your fellow voyagers. “Part of the reason I travel with NextTribe is to discover how women, other than those I’ve known for years, have lived their lives,” says Julie Anderson. “Everyone has a story and I’m often open to hearing it, learning why you are seeking new adventures and friends now.” She adds, “Know that there will be women you click with and those you might not. Be open to all. Sometimes the ones you don’t think you’ll enjoy end up being your favorites.”

Be open to all your fellow travelers. Sometimes the ones you don’t think you’ll enjoy end up being your favorites.

If you do find a favorite, it’s still a great experience to get to know others. “We encourage women to switch out dinner partners so they get the full benefit of a group trip,” says Jeannie Edmunds, NextTribe’s Chief Operating Officer. “You never know what you might have in common with a fellow traveler until you take the time for a one-on-one with her.”

Years ago, on a group trip to Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons, I found it hard to relate to many of my extra-outdoorsy, amazingly athletic fellow travelers who seemed to spend every waking moment scaling mountains and navigating rapids. Until I happened upon a quiet kindred spirit. We discovered we shared an intense love of Trader Joe’s and books by Alexander McCall Smith. While others got their adrenaline going in the parks, we took leisurely strolls past pine groves, comparing reading lists, recipe ideas, and thoughts on empty nest-hood. We stayed in touch for years after.

Be Real About Roommate Needs

Granted, put two strangers together, and it’s not always kismet. If you’re sharing a room on a group trip, give your travel company as much intel as possible upfront about what works for you and what doesn’t. Some of us like sleeping in pitch black conditions, and others are up half the night typing away on their phones or reading by their clever little book light. There are plenty of other concerns, too. “Need someone who doesn’t talk much? Share that,” suggests Lucie Frost. “Can’t stand people who are messy? Let it be known.” Honesty is important here.

Need a roommate who doesn’t talk much, or can’t stand messy people? Let your group leader know.

Be ready to hash things out in real time, too. Group travel companies work overtime to match compatible people, but a little candor when you and your roomie meet can be valuable. “Some of us are a little set in our ways at this point, and we all have different rituals,” notes NextTriber Laura Ross. “One conversation can ease things and make sure you’re still friends at the end of the trip.”

Take Some Solo Time

Even the most outgoing and sociable people can use some downtime. And some of us need large chunks of time to ourselves. I’m in that club. I love wandering around backstreets solo, peering into shop windows, and sitting at cafes and people-watching—and wondering if I’d pass as a local.

Take time for yourself. You don’t always have to be part of the group. Some hours alone can restore you for the next adventure.

So I agree completely with this advice from NextTribe frequent traveler Cathryn Wood: “I believe it’s important to take time for yourself; you don’t always have to be part of the group. If there is an activity that doesn’t fire you up, take a break.” Many group travel companies make some activities optional, so you can spend time as you see fit, whether working out, writing in your journal, FaceTiming with family back home, or napping. It can be a restorative time to help balance you as you venture around new terrain.

Our Last Group Travel Tip: Don’t Be a Debbie Downer

Let’s not sugar-coat it: Travel has its ups and downs. Weather goes berserk, with rainstorms and humidity that would wilt the hardiest of souls. Sometimes, the painstakingly picked restaurant has an off night, and your margarita is too sweet. Your groovy new walking shoes may hurt. Or the museum you were so looking forward to visiting is closed for renovations. It’s not the norm, but life happens.

If you hit bad weather or are served a crummy cocktails, going with the flow can be your best option. There’s likely a wonderful new friend right by your side.

And when it does, going with the flow can be your best defense. Complaining and escalating the situation can just amp up disappointment and difficulties. Check in with your group leaders, but remember: You are in a new place, surrounded by other interesting and adventurous humans. Why not embrace the bumps along the road?

That can hold true for activities that aren’t exactly your cup of tea, such as a dance lesson in Cuba when you are rhythmically challenged. “Whenever you’re traveling with a group of people, things are planned with the group as a whole in mind and not tailored to you specifically,” notes Lucie Frost. “There may be individual events that you’re not excited about. Try to enjoy them anyway. And if you can’t enjoy the event, just relax and enjoy the fabulous company.”