This is part of our series of articles about beauty—how we achieve it and redefine it as we get older.
When George Orwell said, “At 50, everyone has the face he deserves,” he wasn’t anticipating the plethora of options for women today to both stop the clock or gild the lily to baroque proportions.
The proliferation of plastic surgeries, lasers, radiofrequency devices, and myriad rejuvenating fillers on the market—Restylane, Belotero, Juvederm, or your own fat from fat grafting—has morphed a certain part of the population practically into mutants.
These days, sporting giant bug eyes, tiny noses, and trout-pout lips is about as old school as the Nehru jacket. In fact, it’s just old. Somebody please tell Kris Jenner.
‘Looking fake in 2018 is looking old,’ Kopelson says.
The best dermatologists and plastic surgeons practice what they call “under-correcting,” leaving some lines because you’re supposed to look like you never did anything at all. Top Beverly Hills dermatologist Dr. Peter Kopelson now spends a lot of his time making “done” look a little less done.
“Looking fake in 2018 is looking old,” Kopelson tells me. “Today’s goal is looking like you haven’t aged—much. Women come in with jutting cheekbones, square jaws, and big lips. They’ve got really exaggerated, severe features—so I soften them. They’ve been over-injected. And I never put filler inside their lips, like many doctors have—fish lips are old, too. I only dot the vermillion outline. And when it comes to Botox, I might do every other line.”
Which is just smart. A “mini-lift” done every few years makes much of the nipping and tucking indistinguishable. And let’s face it, too much plastic surgery is the opposite of pretty.
An Up Close Look

Image: Starstock/Dreamstime
I’ve been an entertainment/fashion writer/editor for publications like W Magazine, Women’s Wear Daily, Bazaar, and The Hollywood Reporter for years. Which means I’ve seen many female actresses up close: Julia Roberts, Julianne Moore, Susan Sarandon, Annette Bening, Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Kidman, Meryl Streep, even Diane Sawyer and Katie Couric. I’ve sat across tables from the older but close-to-ageless Jane Fonda, Helen Mirren, Candice Bergen, and Diane Keaton—can you tell what they did?
I couldn’t, and I’ve got a trained eye: I often write about dermatology and plastic surgery. You wouldn’t say any of them look pulled or disfigured—or particularly different from their beginnings. That’s the point. But it’s not as if they’ve had nothing done, trust me. I once observed another journalist dare to ask the self-deprecating Streep if she’d “done anything,” to which she guffawed: “Would I look like this if I hadn’t????”
Let’s hope the days of ‘go under the knife or you’ll never work in this town again’ are ending.
My boyfriend forbids me to get a facelift: “You’ll look pulled and scary.” But I believe he’s thinking of some of the cautionary tales. Renée Zellweger and Uma Thurman looked unrecognizable when they came back from Hollywood “hiatus.” God knows the pressures they are under to stay looking “fresh”—or how they feel about the results. Let’s hope the days of “go under the knife or you’ll never work in this town again” are ending.
Before-and-after pictures are a dead giveaway—and all the tabloid magazines nastily run them. Faye Dunaway, Kim Novak, and even the younger Meg Ryan and Melanie Griffith—all of them are from the Joan Rivers taut “wind tunnel” school of beauty.
Trying too Hard: A Line in the Sand

Image: Starstock/Dreamstime
So, ladies, where’s our line in the sand? How do we know when—or if—we’re trying too hard? When is it too much plastic surgery? Who gets to determine it? Vogue? Instagram? It would be nice to trust the mirror, but the mirror’s in our own heads. It would be nice to trust the doctors, but doctors are greedy.
The quest for “perfection”—whatever that is—goes with the territory of one’s insecure salad days. We’re so gullible then. We think no one will love us unless we look like Cindy Crawford—at 25. But over 45, the obsession with a youthful, firm, symmetrical Covergirl face makes one look like a victim: self-hating, unbalanced even—undignified qualities at any age.
The obsession with a youthful, firm face makes one look like a victim: self-hating, unbalanced even—undignified qualities at any age.
To appear, well, ageless,takes a barrage of (expensive) work all the time. Sharon Stone, at 60, is still an icon of beauty. She once told me, “Nobody wants to see a fat, old Sharon Stone.” If Stone’s had work done—and it’s hard to believe she hasn’t—she’s certainly done it subtly and done it right.
But that’s her job, and she works damn hard at it. As she once told me a few years ago, “I’ve even given up fruit. I gave up wine a few years ago.” That’s dedication. But if she hadn’t, would she still be getting parts and flirting with Stephen Colbert? And how many women who never grace the screen feel they have to do something, maybe something drastic, to portray the younger look that society dictates?
The Light Touch
So here’s my idea of what sets “right” apart from “too much” plastic surgery: restraint, a light touch. The great Coco Chanel once proclaimed, “Elegance is refusal,” but she didn’t have plastic surgery or fillers as an option. She also said, “A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.” That means a girl should also do due diligence on prospective dermatologists and surgeons. Look at photos of work they’ve done—and have realistic expectations and conversations, instead of letting them turn you into Michael Jackson.
So who occupies the midpoint—between too much and nothing at all?
Of course, there are plenty of admirable women who stay away from any sort of knife or needle. Nora Ephron published I Feel Bad About My Neck in 2006, but the distinguished writer/director didn’t do anything about it. Joan Didion, 83, hasn’t spackled one wrinkle.
So who occupies the midpoint—between too much and nothing at all? Well, how about Michelle Pfeiffer? Beautiful still, but with a few wrinkles.

Image: Starstock/Dreamstime
Yes, for me it’s Michelle Pfeiffer. Tasteful restraint. A woman who looks accepting of her lot. Which includes aging—or at least, some aging. And, hey, it beats the alternative.
So can we all agree that it’s great to have tools if we don’t want to look like a grandma straight from central casting as long as trout pouts, chrome domes (too much Botox), and the deer-in-the-headlights look are finally, happily, anachronisms?
There’s nothing wrong with slowing down the clock. But throwing it out entirely can make you very late for what’s become the almost-ageless party.
Also in Our Beauty Series:
Cindy Joseph: Meet The Pro-Aging Revolutionary
NextTribe Re-Spins the 5 Hottest Beauty Trends
Zen and the Art of Facial Hair Maintenance
Midlife Identity Crisis: Am I the Woman I Thought I Was?
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Merle Ginsberg is an award-winning West-Coast-based culture journalist and essayist who has been a writer/editor on staff at Rolling Stone, MTV, Women’s Wear Daily, W Magazine, Harper’s Bazaar and The Hollywood Reporter. She’s also a New York Times bestselling author, a published poet, a public speaker and a tv on-air commentator for such outlets as GMA, Today and CNN.
Cathy Cole Wright says
It’s all too much. Just be.
Susan says
From Rolling Stone article on the casting of Frances Conroy for the mother in 6 Feet Under:
“a big majority of the women who came in to read for Ruth had had work done, and they looked like it. …I don’t think this woman who lives upstairs over a funeral home is trying to look younger than she is.”
” …TV and the culture that we live in sort of teaches us that women of a certain age are no longer sexually viable. And I wanted her to be sexually viable without having to have plastic surgery or dress in stupid clothing.”
That said, Frances herself thought she was too young for the role of the family matriarch so she almost didn’t audition. She is now 63, so in 2001 when the series started she was aged 46ish — playing a 55 year old.
So the lesson for actors: if you have work done, make it subtle. Less is more. I find it really hard to watch actresses I used to love but who have had too much work done–it’s sad (Meg Ryan). But it is not always about anti-aging. Jennifer Gray ruined her career at its peak with a nose job.
Ironically, if you keep your figure slim your face likely will look older/more wrinkly.
One woman I knew realized why she was so wrinkled and her husband wasn’t, “I’ve figured it out! Balloons don’t have wrinkles!”
But Sharon Stone is right. If we give up wine we look better. But most of us don’t make our livings based on our looks so I can’t wait to enjoy a glass of chardonnay at book club tonight 🙂
Betty Sanchez says
Monica Sanchez. This article is exactly what I think about plastic surgery.
Holly Chapman says
Any surgery is a risk. So much cosmetic surgery is poorly done. I’ll stick with corrective products that work.
Cathy Scott says
I think that today plastic surgery is way over used. People look artificial, and an appreciation for the beauty of an “imperfect” or age worn face has been lost. There is a special kind of beauty that is often conferred upon a face by old age, one that enables the inner beauty and experience to show through, that is missing from, say, the face of a beautiful young model. It is one that could draw and hold you gaze and interest far longer than perfect youth might do.
I remember scanning through photos taken by famous black and white photographers and seeing a photo of a perfect young female subject and thinking how beautiful she was then in the next row seeing a photo of the wrinkled face of an old peasant woman and thinking to myself that if I had to gaze at one or the other for the rest of my life I would choose the old woman whose aged face radiated character and experience that far outshone the perfect face of the younger woman.
NextTribe says
You put this so well. Lovely thoughts.
Mary Carpenter says
Yes/no. Michelle still is lovely.
Sandra Finch says
Do whatever you want. I do not care.
Thomas Drotar says
Great article. Love this writer.
Tricia Beyer says
I agree!!!Let’s take good care of what we have with clean, nontoxic skincare & age gracefully!!
Margaret Daly says
Agree. There should be no shame in growing older. Take good care of yourself, and be proud. ?
Brenda Decker says
any.