We’re sick of the stereotype. You know the one; it’s made it into hundreds of movies and books. This idea that a woman’s sex organs shrivel up like raisins once she crosses the half-century mark. We’ve long suspected that this wasn’t true (one clue: the talk about different vibrators at book club gatherings we’ve attended). Now, we have some good evidence that sex over 50 is far from a wasteland.

In our NextTribe sex survey, you were very forthcoming about your life between the sheets (or, in a couple of cases, under the stars). One third of you are having sex a couple times a week or more. And half are having it a few times a month. “As soon as [my partner] gets home from work, I’m sure we’ll be spending lots of time in the bedroom or where ever else we can have sex,” said one of you lucky gals.

Two-thirds of you are happy with the amount of sex you’re getting or want more, and 60 percent say your desire level is about the same as five years ago or even stronger.

Almost 65 percent of respondents say they regularly masturbate.

“I have had the best sex of my life from age 45 to 55 and although I am through menopause I have not yet experienced a decline in interest,” said one exuberant respondent. “I am however fearful of that day. Please tell me orgasm is still achievable for 25 years to come!” (We promise to find that out.)

“I want MORE,” wrote another woman. “And I’d love to experiment with more partners. Maybe even women.”

But even women who have long been with only one partner report plenty of fireworks. “We have been married for over 30 years, and he just commented the other day that we have sex like porn stars (only not demeaning),” commented one happy women. “We both have multiple orgasms and do our best to out pleasure one another. Getting there is half the fun!”

Read More: Help! I Don’t Want to Have Sex With My Husband

Hitting the Highs

As experienced women, it seems we know what we want and how to get it. Seventy-five percent of you have regular orgasms. And if a partner can’t do it for you, you’re happy to take matters into your own hands. About 65 percent regularly masturbate, with 19 percent pleasing yourself often and four percent doing so almost every day. (Great stress relief, right?)

“Orgasms are stronger and more complete and often multiple when masturbating, so I often prefer it,” wrote one of the regulars.

It’s no surprise then that in general our group is not squeamish about sex toys—vibrators, dildos, and the like. Two-thirds use them on a regular basis, and though we didn’t ask if you used them alone or with your partner (we’ll remember to do that next survey), some reported that they haven’t been able to introduce sex toys with their partner. “How can I convince my 68-year-old husband to use a toy when he never needed to use one before?” one woman asked.

Getting Started With Sex Over 50

This doesn’t mean respondents didn’t report problems: 52 percent of you say that you deal with vaginal dryness, 48 percent with lack of desire (though that number doesn’t quite jive with the happy sex reported in other questions). For 31 percent, sex is painful (one woman even told us she bleeds during sex), and 22 percent don’t orgasm easily or at all.

Many women reported that partners who are bad lovers are the primary cause of their lack of desire.

A number of respondents told us that partners who are bad lovers are the primary cause of their lack of desire, which isn’t a big surprise, really.  “My husband has never lasted longer than one minute,” wrote one respondent. “Sex is a waste of time and energy for me. I am always left feeling disappointed, so why even go there?” Almost one-third of you told us that your partner has erectile dysfunction problems that interfere significantly with your sex lives. (Of those with ED, 52 percent use Viagra, and 28 percent get no treatment. Come on, guys!)

Time to get in the mood is important to a happy sex life as well. Almost a third of you watch porn (20 percent soft porn and 10 percent the hard stuff) to get revved up. About the same number like sexy passages in books or sexy movies (we consider Outlander to be required watching for lazy libidos). A lot of you get off on sexy talk; one woman told us that her beloved sends her sexy text messages through out the day so she’s good and ready for the evening. The most common ramp up to a good tumble is thinking about good sex in the past, though 11 percent of you said seeing your mate doing house work turns you on (we just had to ask about that).

Hope Ahead

Some of you mentioned that you despair over being sexless for so long. “I’m an unhappy older virgin,” one respondent commented. “My last relationship ended four years ago, and it was sexless. I’m scared that men my age all have more experience than I do.”

Several women told us that hormone replacement therapy got the motor running again.

But there is much to be hopeful about. We received many stories of women who have come alive sexually in recent years. One woman attributed it to her retirement and less stress. Several said that HRT, (hormone replacement therapy) got the motor running at top speed again. Another told us that she never liked sex with her husband, but now that she’s married to a woman she’s thrilled. “Sex with a man was NOTHING compared to the sex we have now,” she said. “A woman has more understanding of a woman’s body.”

Getting your groove back is largely a matter of finding the right person. “I was widowed at 51 and went for 15 years without a relationship,” one of you told us. “I thought my sex life was a thing of the past until I met my current partner. Now, at 67 I am in awe of how much sexual desire I have.”

A similar story offers hope as well. “My marriage was sexless for 10-plus years; I felt like I `revirginified’ and had no idea how I’d react once I was back out there. I met the most wonderful man and everything was in full working order. I’m experiencing a level of pleasure, attention, and satisfaction that amazes me even after a year with him.”

Sometimes a reawakened sex life is a function of timing, with one woman explaining that now that she’s finally and truly comfortable with her body, her sex life has become less fraught, more fun. We especially find encouragement in this couple’s story: “The sex has only been frequent very recently. For twenty-plus years it was infrequent. We were parents rather than lovers. Now it’s like being young again.” Sigh.

Read More: Post-Menopause Sex Woes: Quit Blaming Women

A version of this story was originally published in February 2020.