How a Widow Finally Let Go of Her Husband’s Beloved Possession

My husband Gary died relatively young, at 58, almost ten years ago, and his death was sudden and accidental—from a kayaking accident on a wild river in Guatemala. The love of my life was gone, and I was left with all his possessions to deal with, including some beautiful Italian suits and leather jackets, and with the animals and possessions we had owned together, including his Toyota 4Runner SUV, which I had never actually driven myself. Our two dogs, Zip and Molly, were already getting old, but they clearly had some good years left, as did the 4Runner.

Gary had bought the 4Runner used after a terrible collision that totaled his Nissan Pathfinder, but which saved his life because of its sturdy truck underbody. I was always a passenger in his 4Runner, which he had custom tweaked, with bells and whistles that included a great sound system. He had linked his iPod to the system, with at least a thousand songs, and when I was along for the ride, he would choose the songs that we both loved or that seemed to fit my mood. He was a great personal DJ.