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Outrage

The Ta-Ta Towel? Really?

Recently, an ad showed up on Facebook for something called the Ta-Ta Towel. It popped up repeatedly, incessantly, hawking an actual over-the-shoulder boulder holder. It’s a length of terrycloth that dangles around your neck like a scarf but supports your girls after bathing. Our reaction: “Come on…A towel? Just for boobs? We call B.S.! We know how to dry our breasts, thank you!”

Now, it may be that there are women among us who secretly desire the Ta-Ta Towel. For instance, some of us are perhaps getting hot flashes and can’t stand to have a shirt on, or don’t like the feeling of being topless after a shower because – thank you, gravity! – that involves boob-skin touching ribcage-skin.

If that’s your situation and you want the Ta-Ta Towel for sixty bucks, you go on with your bad self, and enjoy!

But for the moment, there’s this sinking feeling that we’ve shelled out enough on magical towels over the years (the Sham-wow? The Quick-dry Hair Turban? The cooling towel?) Our linen closet runneth over. We’ll stick with saying ta-ta to the Ta-Ta Towel.

–Amy Keyishian

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