If you tell comedienne Judy Gold what pisses you off the most, she’ll be interested. Seriously.
In fact, the award-winning comic, actress, and writer turns what irks people into comedy gold each week on her podcast Kill Me Now.
“It’s called Kill Me Now because we talk about what pisses you off, but it’s really a podcast based on my own curiosity about people and their stories,” says Gold, 55. “I have this camaraderie with all these comics [who come on the show], and we’ve been through so much shit together that it’s easy to talk, and it’s really fun.”
Among her guests, injustice and incompetence are the two most common topics to rant about.
One comic came with a three-page list of what makes him crazy. “It was so cathartic,” she says. Among her guests, injustice and incompetence are the two most common topics to rant about.
As for Gold, well, a lot makes her angry. “What pisses me off is blatant hypocrisy and lying. Don’t fucking lie to me. Do not lie to me,” Gold says. “Oh, and entitlement. I’ll tell you what else pisses me off—the phone.
If you’re walking down the street, don’t constantly be looking down at the phone. You’re outside!”
Not Just Anger
Gold features more than comics, though, on her podcast. Some previous non-standup comedy guests have been Roberta Kaplan (the attorney who successfully argued against the Defense of Marriage Act at the Supreme Court), Kate Bornstein (author, performer, and world-renowned gender theorist), and Bill Scheft (staff writer for David Letterman from 1991-2015).
While she’d love to have Hillary Clinton on her show, Gold thinks that Clinton would have to be guarded and couldn’t speak as openly and honestly as she’d like. She has another dream guest: “Michelle Obama would be fucking amazing!”
Gold says she’s fearless now. ‘I’ve never been funnier.’
Having performed comedy for more than 35 years, Gold says that this stage of her life is fantastic because she’s fearless now. “I’ve never been funnier,” she quips. On stage, she jokes about the president and her mental state since he’s been in office, about her two sons and her relationship with her girlfriend.
Another favorite them is boundaries, or the lack of them. “I remember when my parents would have dinner parties. We came down the stairs like the Von Trapp family singers, said ‘Hi,’ and then went upstairs and weren’t heard from for the rest of the night. Now, everybody is bringing their kids everywhere—everywhere! No!
“I remember when my kids were little and people used to call me up because they were thinking of having an impromptu margarita party that night. Then they’d say, ‘It’s adults only.’ Um, like I want to go to a margarita party with my kids. As much as you don’t want them there, I want them there less. I’m lucky I have my children, but—boundaries!”
“I love where I am in my head now. It’s like I have nothing to lose. There’s nothing you can tell me that I haven’t heard before,” says Gold. “There’s no audience that is going to throw me.”
Although she loves performing, Gold admits that one thing frustrates her in the comedy and acting biz: ageism. “When people say ‘You’re not our demographic,’ I say, ‘I didn’t know funny had an age or gender limit.’ I mean, Joan Rivers was never more relevant than in her early 80s, you know?” Gold explains. “The hardest thing is that I love comedy and perform several nights a week, but I can’t get a special. It’s really frustrating because I haven’t done a special in 10 years, and I have so much material.” Gold says she’s tired of hearing the word, “No.”
‘I didn’t know funny had an age or gender limit.’
So she keeps going—doing her stand up and acting. Most recently, Gold has appeared in the television shows Friends from College, The Other F Word, and Nightcap. On Showtime’s I’m Dying Up Here, Gold played an older stand-up comic in the 1970s in Los Angeles who has been told that she’s too old to keep performing.
“I’m Dying Up Here was so great because it was a dramatic role, and it was a juicy role on the show,” explains Gold. “Give me more, baby! I’d love to be a part of an amazing television show and something that is timeless. I just want them to bring Maude back with me starring!”
Paging Norman Lear…
For comedy shows, check out the calendar on her website www.JudyGold.com.
Michele “Wojo” Wojciechowski is a national award-winning writer, author, and humorist based in Baltimore. She’s the author of the humor book Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box.