There’s a boob towel that’s a real product and for sale right this very minute. Let’s let that sink in for a moment.
Remember last year when an ad showed up on Facebook for something called the Ta-Ta Towel? It popped up repeatedly, incessantly, hawking an actual over-the-shoulder boulder holder. A boob towel. It’s a length of terrycloth that dangles around your neck like a scarf but supports your girls after bathing. Our reaction: “Come on…A towel? Just for boobs? We call B.S.! We know how to dry our breasts, thank you!”
The Perks of a Boob Towel?
Now, it may be that there are women among us who secretly desire the Ta-Ta Towel. For instance, some of us are perhaps getting hot flashes and can’t stand to have a shirt on, or don’t like the feeling of being topless after a shower because–thank you, gravity!–that involves boob-skin touching ribcage-skin.
If that’s your situation and you want the Ta-Ta Towel for sixty bucks, you go on with your bad self, and enjoy! And there is a silver lining to this product: It was created by a female entrepreneur.
“I was living in Los Angeles and getting ready to go out on a first date. As I got out of the shower and started getting ready, I could not stop sweating—not because I was about to go on a first date, but because my tiny A/C unit was broken AND it was the beginning of summer,” Erin Robertson, Creator & Founder of Ta-Ta Towels, LLC, writes on her website. “I had a lot working against me. I tried everything: I tucked wash cloths under my breasts, I tried dumping baby powder all over me, I even put a t-shirt on and tucked it under my boobs. But the wash cloths looked ridiculous, the baby powder made me look more like dough, and the t-shirt was making me sweat even more. While I was blow-drying my hair, I just kept thinking: ‘There HAS to be a better way to keep the beads of sweat from dripping down my stomach.'”
And the rest was history.
You know us, we’re all about female empowerment and pushing women to break through glass ceilings—this product just rubs us the wrong way. There’s that sinking feeling that we’ve shelled out enough on magical towels over the years (the Sham-wow? The Quick-dry Hair Turban? The cooling towel?). Our linen closet runneth over.
For now, we’ll stick with saying ta-ta to the Ta-Ta Towel.