A few days after we published our story about Emma Thompson challenging women to “be the change” in the iconography of women, Jeannie Ralston, our founder, called me.

“What do you think?’ she asked. “Should we do it?”

“If you do it, I’ll do it,” I replied.

Take part in the #NextTribeRealBodyChallenge here.

Jeannie texted me her nude selfie and I texted her mine, because that’s how we roll here at NextTribe HQ. Nothing says “age boldly” like exposing your naked body to a professional colleague—one you trust—with no fear of judgment, just admiration for the courage it took to hit “send,” 

That same week, we launched the #NextTribeRealBodyChallenge, inviting women to send in photos of themselves, neck down, no clothes. They could submit anonymously through a form on our website: adding a comment was optional. 

We were pleasantly surprised when women of all shapes and sizes, aged 51 to 77, gave us permission to use their pictures. Even those who didn’t submit were cheering us on in social media. We are trying to lead by example, and your comments and encouragement showed us you are right there with us, whether you participated or not. 

See all the Body Challenge photos and quotes here. 

It Was Never About the Photos

But it was never about the photos. The most striking part of this whole exercise was what we found in the comments. 

A 61-year-old told us: “It’s hard not to pose or suck in my stomach, but I’m trying to view my body as my longtime home, through a lens not tainted by society’s judgment or expectations.”

Six years ago, Weight Watchers polled 2,000 women on their body image. Survey respondents criticized themselves eight times a day, on average, starting at around 9:30 AM. 

A body image survey found that women criticized themselves eight times a day, on average, starting at around 9:30 AM. 

Last year, the Dove Global Body Confidence report, based on interviews with 10,000 women and girls in 13 countries, showed 69 percent of women say anxiety about their appearance is driven by the unrealistic standard of beauty set by advertising and media. Maybe media images in South Africa are more realistic,   because South African women had the highest self-esteem scores in this survey.

But some of us in the U.S. are defiant, and we’re not going to take that media BS any more. 

A 54-year-old Real Body Challenger, likely post-menopausal, told us this: “So here it is. Rock on, sisters. We have a kind of sexy that is all our own, and can give it to anyone lucky enough to see it.”

Now that’s some bravado, and we applaud you, girl. You are at the age when some of us start to doubt our sex appeal, comparing ourselves to the ever-youthful images in social media, or measuring ourselves now, against our younger selves.

A 68-year-old said “Looking at this, I long for my younger body but am prompted to send in my photo in an effort to gain acceptance. I am not perfect but parts of me are excellent!”

Radical Acceptance

Some of you had already begun the process of “radical acceptance.”

“I’m learning to let go of  ‘the things of youth’ and one of those things is my younger body. I’m proud of my 62-year-old body, of how strong it is, and that I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“I feel proud of my body,” wrote a 51-year-old. “It’s me. Every little flaw is just part of my character. I’m not ashamed of any scar or stretch mark. I’ve earned them all. Perfection is not what I strive for. It’s being comfortable in this body.”

Rock on, sisters. We have a kind of sexy that is all our own, and can give it to anyone lucky enough to see it.

And this, from a 70-year-old: “I’m proud of my body. Growing up I hated almost everything about me. My hair was too frizzy, my thighs too fat and my nose too big. Now I feel beautiful and I want the world to know me.”

In our small sample size, the older women were sometimes gentler on themselves than the 50-something youngsters.

Here’s this from a 77-year-old: “I absolutely love having my body and looking at it and watching it age and watching how exercise, dancing, playing and loving life affects it. I often ask my husband to take photos of me dancing in our garden.”

Compare her statement to this, from a 63-year-old coming to terms with her perceived imperfections: “The more I look at it, the more I realize I kinda look like everyone else. I’m not perfect. But it’s a perfect body for me right now. I’d like so much more from it, but man, it has done right by me over the decades. Who am I to judge my body?!”

Rejecting the “Male Gaze” Standard

We have more work to do. Anyone who’s undressed at the gym knows what real women look like. It’s up to us to light the candle in the dark prison the culture builds around women, freeing us only when we meet the approval of the “male gaze.” Hey, what about the female gaze? We can all appreciate beauty in the feminine form, as artists have done throughout history. Learning to appreciate the beauty of life inside that form takes some practice. 

We’re going to keep the challenge open for the rest of this year because we know more of you will be inspired to participate. 

This 51-year-old has a good start. 

“I have hated my body for many years, adding stress and discontentment to 51 years on earth. I don’t even know when it started. It’s taken many years of just battling self-worth issues to get to appreciating my body for what it can do, and to feel at home in my body, no matter size or shape. It has been a lifetime of learning how to heal myself, to separate my self-worth from my body’s appearance. Recently I lost my mother to cancer, and watching her body shrink with the disease while she battled, it occurred to me how much it all doesn’t matter, how tremendous amounts of energy have been wasted. Her passing shifted my appreciation for the strength of my body; it brought awareness and clarity that life is short and special. I acknowledge and accept what my body can do. It is mine, imperfect but special.”

We’re going to keep the challenge open for the rest of this year because we know more of you will be inspired to participate. 

One day, maybe, Emma Thompson will read about it. I’m sure she’d be thrilled that NextTribers have heeded her clarion call by living, sharing, and being the change we want to see in the visual representation of women our age.

Read More: The Challenge of Maintaining Good Body Image as We Age

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Jeannie Edmunds is COO of NextTribe, and the author of  Start Me Up: Tips, Tales, and Truths about Starting Up and Starting Over