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Facebook Obsessed and Proud of It: Why I’m Not Breaking Up With the Social Media Site

Yes, the Russians may have misused data, and a new poll finds that distrust of social media is at 60 percent, but here's why Lisa DePaulo still loves Facebook.

Was it a little freaky, this idea that Facebook had all my information and was sharing it with Russians, or whomever? For about two seconds, then I got over it fast.

Seriously, do the Russians really care about my lasagna recipe?

Partly because, I mean, seriously, do the Russians really care about my lasagna recipe (though they should; it’s really good) or my dog’s birthday party pictures (even better) or my thoughts about the last episode of The Affair or the Royal Wedding? Besides, who among us were blissfully unaware? Of course they have our data. But I feel much more vulnerable using an ATM these days, and I’m not giving that up, either.

Facebook is like a relationship or a marriage. Yeah, there’ll be things that tick you off (even things that make you distrust), but then there is all the good stuff.

Facebook Obsession: Why I’m a Social Media Addict

I can’t live without Facebook. Facebook is my lover, and not just for some of the obvious reasons. I have connected with people I’d never in a million years have met, and reconnected with people I thought were lost forever. Yeah, that friend from high school who you never really liked in high school, but now is fascinating? Bingo! Or your cousin Tootsie who you always adored but never did stay in touch with? Now you can. But it’s much more than that.

Rule #1 of Facebook etiquette: You should engage with the people who respond.

Maybe because I’m a bit of a Facebook addict, or because I truly believe that when you post something, you should engage with the people who respond (Rule #1 of Facebook etiquette), I’ve built up a bit of a community on my little page. And I love that! Where else can you belly up to the bar with 497 of your closest friends to debate or argue or laugh about the issues of the day?.Or recipes? Or even more profound matters? I once posted an email I got from a nasty person who said people “felt sorry for me” because I did not have “real children” and posted all the time about my dog. Well, within a few hours, I had over 700 enraged and empathic responses. Where else can you get that kind of support?

The Famous Author and the Fast Food Worker

I also love that Facebook is the great equalizer. It tickles me when there is a lively discussion going on on my page, and people from very different walks of my life—say, a famous author and a friend who works at Dunkin Donuts—are mixing it up with wit and humor, totally unaware of who the other person is. As it should be. And, yes, you also meet jerks on Facebook, but that is why God—I mean, Zuckerberg—created the “block” function, which one should use at all times necessary. Facebook should be your happy place, even when everyone is arguing.

I realized this more than ever a couple years ago when I got cancer. I did not mention this at all to my Facebook peeps—I guess they’ll know now!—because I did not want to talk about the Big C all the time, or have to answer a bunch of questions, or God forbid, have to take advice, or get book recommendations.

I wanted to keep my happy place happy. And I did.

The doctor said that Facebook was a really positive thing for people going through cancer treatment.

One day, my oncologist said to me, “Are you writing again yet?” (One of the awful parts about treatment is that you lose your ability to concentrate.) I replied, “No, unless you count Facebook.” And she was…delighted. She said that Facebook was a really positive thing for people going through cancer treatment—little bursts of good energy—and, in fact, this prestigious cancer hospital was looking into “studying” that, so it appreciated all anecdotal offerings.
Oh, boy, do I have lots.

I would share more, but I have 37 new notifications.

Thank you, Facebook, my lover. I’m not going anywhere.

***

Lisa DePaulo has written for a ton of national magazines, but would now like to work for Facebook.

Further Reading

The Accidental Billionaires: The Founding of Facebook: A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius and Betrayal

Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now

I Downloaded the Information That Facebook Has on Me. Yikes.

By Lisa DePaulo

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